There is a time when a child should defend his or her self. I think they should be taught to avoid fighting at all costs, but there comes a point when a solid punch in the nose solves bully problems. Children can be very cruel and turning the other cheek sometimes just doesn't work with them, but a bully will always remember being knocked on his butt and think twice before picking on the one who put him there.

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Unfortunately it is an absolute MUST that our children know how to defend themselves, and that includes defending themselves against bullies. I learned how to fight when I was a girl, and I had to use my fists once or twice. Bullies STOP bullying when they know you can hurt them back. It is the ONLY way to stop them. Once other children know that you are prepared to stand your ground, they will not bully or taunt you. The only restriction I would put on this is to only fight in self-defense or the defense of one of your friends. Never be the one to start the fight -- never.

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Depends on the situation--many years ago my oldest son was being bullied walking home from school---several times I told him--ignore him----after about 1/2 dozen times--I got a call that my son had been hit and pushed into a mud puddle by this kid--now I'm talking 3rd/4th grade here---I told him-next time Jesse starts bullying you, close your fist, thumb outside and belt him---next day--sure enough Jesse comes at him--my son did just that--never got harrassed again--am I for this type of behavior--absolutely not--sometimes you just "gotta do what you gotta do!"

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Teach them how to fight. I think it is borderline negligent to pretend that we live in a world where violence is not seen as a perfectly viable solution to a problem. The ability to defend yourself is extremely important IMHO. <br />
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The best thing is to let them learn in a formal setting. You can't learn fighting unless you fight. The ability to use physical violence on someone is not an immediate response when someone is threatened. That is harder to teach.<br />
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Bullies look for the path of least resistance. You take a chunk out of them. They WILL leave you alone. It doesn't even matter if you get beat up in the end. It's hard to get a kid to realize that. It takes courage and self confidence. Learning HOW to fight can get you part way there.

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What I taught both of my daughter.....was to fight back....But only after all other means of solving the problem has been exausted.....ANd to never toss the first punch.....But to make sure to always toss the last one...<br />
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It taught them that you need to depend on others to assist you in problem solving....But when it comes right down to it....You are the only one that can ensure that a problem is solved....To use the correct chanels to solve the problem....and to get the job done...

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Please do not let your children grow up thinking they should be victims. They should be taught to hate violence, but when they can't avoid it, can anyone say it's better to bet hurt than to do the hurting? If violence is going to happen wether you like it or not, it's better to dish it out. If your kids don't get that message, it's no different than it you beat them up yourself. They will get hurt if they are taught to be victims, and in other areas of life too, when they grow up.

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Well, we haven't advocated fighting back. Instead, both my husband and I give our daughter tactics to manage anyone giving her a hard time. We both encourage her to handle her own battles -- mostly power struggles with bullies. If they get out of hand we intervene by calling the bus department or school as necessary. Mostly though, she has told us that what we advise her to do works! She never thinks so at first, but then she tries them out and comes home thrilled that they worked!<br />
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That was vague. We help her outsmart the bullies -- their tricks are old and they play the same games over and over so it is easy to help her know how to respond. Many of the tricks we remember from when we were young. We give her a few 'gotcha' comebacks and good responses. My dh has a great sense of humor and always has better comebacks than I ever come up with, so it is good it isn't just me helping her out. lol

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It's best, in my honest opinion, to teach them basic offensive and defensive fighting skills. Most important though is instilling the knowledge that we must always find alternative ways to solve a problem, with physical confrontation our last option. It is always right to defend yourself, but only when you have not other option. I hope this helps.

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my parents always told me that not to hit first but if someone hits you then kick their ***... this has always worked for me and i have only been in a fight in a total of 24 years... and i will teach my kids the same ... to always stick up for them self .... not to be a bully but not to be a door mat either

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I teach children assertiveness training and standing up to themselves. <br />
I tell them DO NOT resort to violence. If you have to go find an adult who can help you. Words are more powerful than violence I think

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The child should always tell an adult. But at some point the "kids being kids" saying will likely ring true. <br />
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There is no "better" answer unfortunately. Your parenting style has to shine here. <br />
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I do, however, thing "overman" said it well.

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I think they should be taught what to say to someone that is picking on them. I think children should learn to stand up for themselves at a young age, so they will carry this on into adulthood. I think they should also learn that if it is a fist fight, that the should not fight back in this way, unless forced to, and to go to an adult for help, if possible.

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I feel that we need to teach our children why other children become bullies or pick on other children and tease them, so that they can learn how to defend themselves and not take it personally. We need to teach them the techniques that do not fuel the bullies to continue picking on them.<br />
The more attention they give them, the more they fuel them to continue.<br />
We must teach our children not to give their power away<br />
If however your child is physically hit , then I believe giving them permission to fight back is called for.<br />
As <br />
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I taught both my kids to fight back, to not let some one bully you, but not with fists, with their mouths. To let the other person know that they are no better than you. To stick up for themselves and not coward to others.

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My parent's didn't teach me how to fight. Fighting just came with the territory. I got into my 1st fight when I was in the third grade. I had a bully who bullied me until the third grade. By third grade I had enough. She approached me again during recess time again like she did everyday. Started pushing me around, all the kids cheering her on to beat me, and then I snapped. I punched her in the face which busted her nose, she fell to the ground and I started kicking her all in her face, then I jumped on her and I kept punching her and punching her until she was yelling for me to stop and the principal pulled me off of her. I didn't realize what happend except that I had her blood all over me. The prinicipal almost expelled me because he thought that I was the one that started the fight, until some of the other kids came to the office to tell him what happened. He then told me that her and I was going to be suspended instead. I thought I was going to get into trouble with my parents. I was scared. My uncle came to pick me up and I thought I was going to get into big trouble. After he came out of the office with the other girl and the prinicipal he told me let's go, as we were coming around the building my uncle started laughing and jumping. He told me wow... you really beat the crap out of her didn't you. At the time I didn't know if I was to be happy or if I was to be scared because I still had to face my parents. My uncle ended up telling my father what happened. He was very proud that I stood my ground. It runs in the family. <br />
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I grew up watching my father kick ***. I saw my dad fight and beat a whole neighborhood of big samoans. Not that I have anything against samoans, but just to see my father who's like 6'0 medium built kick ***, the way he did that day was awesome. He was an amazing fighter. Where I grew up, that's all you do. If you don't you dont' get respect. You have to fight for respect. Literally. <br />
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I think it's okay to teach your kid how to be the better person. But when do they stand up for themselves? yeah your child can be the better person and walk away, but the problem aint' going to end there. It will continue, until your child earns that respect. Sorry to say, but that is the kind of messed up world we live in. We have parents who raises their children to be as ignorant as they are. I think you teaching your children how to walk away makes you a good parent. But your child will have to stand up for himself sooner or later. <br />
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My parents never taught me to fight. That bully, bullied me for two years until I had enough of her ignorance. She took advantage of me because I was this little petite girl and she was bigger than I was. The other kids cheered her on because she was the big fat bully, but after I beat the smack out of her, I got the respect from all the other kids and her as well. She became my friend after that. From that day forward I earned everyone's respect one fight after another. That's how it is. <br />
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Rena

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Yes I do. Being the better person doesn't cut it with the other kids, trust me.

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If you teach your kids to turn the other cheek then the bullies will hit that one too!! You should teach them to stand up for themselves!

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Yes, fight back. Most bullies are big chickens and will back down real fast if challenged.<br />
I was in 9th grade, a HS senior would pick on me every day. One day I just got sick of it and fought back. I got a black eye. He got suspended from school for a few days and never picked on me again.

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Yes, fighters today will be principaled enough to stand up for what they believe as adults. Leaders not followers are born of the characters who fight for themselves.

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