Like i wanna change myself.. but i wanna do it on my own. i don't want counselling anymore, it doesn't help. I want to change myself, by myself. i want to be confident and things.. is this possible? how would i do it? anyone else done it this way? i mean like yeh i put things in my head.. they stay there for a day, but nothing sticks.. so what can i do to keep it that way?
LawRaJayne LawRaJayne 18-21, F 16 Answers Jul 26, 2009

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It is possible to make many changes in how you live and see life.

Most often though it truly helps to be around those who share the same goals (which is part of what this very site is for) or have already accomplished what you seek. Don't be too proud to learn from someone else's mistake, it saves you the trouble of doing it yourself. Encouragement is important as well.

Never Give Up

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It's all about small goals. That way you don't get too upset when you don't always follow through, and when you do, you can set bigger goals. Best wishes to you. :-)

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look right... i belive that one should never changed themselves for the love are need of others. change yourself for youself. change happens in a very slow process. the duracell bunny battery aint gonna help you in this situation. there are many things that you can do. one of these many things is finding who you are before changing yourself. how do i find my self? you may ask yourself. go to new places, new locations, new enviroments. by going here will help you open up a bit more to yourself. this will enable you to have a more clear understanding of your inner stance in society and the world. wheather you wish to make an affect or not. ok am kindah blabbering sorry i have much love for you. all in all you will need to find yourself before you start to change yourself. pow!##

much love Dr. Pyro xxooxxox

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Here's step by step process for you that you could do anywhere and you don't need anything or anyone but yourself to benefit from this process.

This could and will change your life to the better.


Find something or someone you really unconditionally love. It could be toward something little, something big, person or animal. Doesn't matter. Feel this love. Make it easy to recall your feeling of love at will. Practice it. It make take a 1 minute or 1 week depends how often you allowed yourself to feel love. Once ready - switch to the next step.


Find 1 thing that slightly or mildly irritates you. Not intense - just a bit irritating. This could be about any person or situation - something not that important. Willingly replace your feeling or irritation with feeling of love. Don't judge. Just work with your own feelings. Replace - change your feeling of irritation with feeling of love. If it is difficult - just say it inside of yourself "I love you". Keep feeling irritation and repeating "I love you". It still works this way. Keep doing it until you felt comfortable changing feelings of irritation into feelings of love. Situations doesn't matter - what matter is your feelings.


Repeat step 2 for stronger irritations. Now go throughout the day and whenever you notice irritations and negativity - replace them with feelings of love. If feeling love sometimes prove to be difficult - just say: "I love you" toward your negative feelings.


Now you just need to strengthen your "love" muscles to repeat this process throughout the day.

With practice it'll get easier and easier for you.


Write daily journal about your daily life, the way you feel about yourself, your relationships and any events that are interesting and important.

You will see changes - make sure to write them down.


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If you say you wanna change, it's likely you have already shed one skin. Perhaps you feel like others have a false perception of you, and you want to assert your new aspirations.

What are you attracted to? This is by going there you'll grow into that new person. Go for the people (in the flesh or through books, interviews...) that make you feel really comfortable, not in a superficial, immediate way but because it strikes a chord within you.

The purpose is to build yourself with the help of others.

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Counseling is not the only answer! Counseling is totally a new trend nowadays and I'm sure our forefathers managed to change themselves with no counseling whatsoever, so of course you can do it!

It's going to take a while though, and you probably won't realize it until it's done, but it's all in what you do and who you hang out with.

Reading a lot can make you more confident 'cause it expands your knowledge. Same for taking classes. Going to work can also make you confident, if you're making your own money and being self-reliant. Talking to people more, being out places, having a good sense of humor and a nice smile. People are way more likely to gravitate around us if we smile, it's a given.

And what you should especially do is hang out with people who make you FEEL better, not by dissing anyone or anything, but just hangout with people who you have fun with but at the same time have more to do than just party, people who have lives, goals, hobbies, whatever, and especially people who listen to you and readily compliment you, not like gross "I want some" guy who compliments you, but just girlfriends, who tease each other, but let you know they love your qualities and things about you.

It takes some work! Just take it slow! No race! And it takes time! And sometimes... it just happens at its own pace, so don't feel like you're need to be there yet. I'm confident sometimes and not-so-confident in other places. It's life. Don't stress. =)

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That's the only way you can really do it...therapy, counselors, self-help books and all that other stuff are only helpers. They give you a bit of a push and some alternative ways to think about things...but to actually benefit from any of those helpers...comes solely from within you!

You have to decide and make the effort. At first it's a conscious effort and you may have to remind yourself at times, but then eventually your brain begins to accept these changes and the effort that is needed begins to subside, and you have then accomplished the change. Good Luck to you and remember that anything that is rewarding is always hard work...

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start with one habit at a time, either something you want to stop doing or something you want to start. It takes about 3 weeks of work to get a habit ingrained into your every day life. Habits are what control your life for good and bad.

Also invision the person you want to become. Write the traits of that person down and review often. Imagine yourself becoming that person, do the things you see that person doing. Build on each success that this new person has and above all don't stop.

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Don't be lazy. "Thinking" about change won't do anything. Actively change your routines and your surroundings if you can (including bad-news friends!)

Also starting a sentence with the ditzy version of "like" should be the first thing you reform. Maybe that'll help you shape up!

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What you need to change our your beliefs. your beliefs our stored in your subconscious. your subconscious mind will always win over your conscious mind. when you have an idea to change that is your conscious mind. then after a couple of days it resets to normal because your suconscious kicks in and wins. Try getting some hypnotherapy cds to change what you want to change. recomend books that come with cds. Paul Mckenna is good for them.

This will change your subconscious mind. The changes you want to make will become beliefs and they will run automaticly. you wont even have to think about them.

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I really, really hope a person can. I want to change myself, but it sometimes seems so pointless that I just give up. More power to you though, I really hope you succeed. Let me know how you did it.

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Yes. Go get some self-help books.

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