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Milwee Milwee 16-17 84 Answers Jan 9, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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No-and you said it yourself-16 yr old GIRL-29 yr old MAN. Girls should date boys and men should date women.

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Completely agree.

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well why do u say no?

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why?

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A 29 year old man should have nothing in common with a 16 year old girl. Something wrong with a 'man' who wants to 'date' someone so young. He probably likes teen p0rn, too.

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i dont think so

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I would certainly question the maturity level of a guy that age who somehow is attracted to teenagers. Something wrong with him. What about his past relationships--what went wrong there?

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his ex cheated

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So he feels better with somebody he can control and dominate--whether you want to believe it or not-he is using you. He can't deal with women his own age-makes him feel more of a man to have somebody like you--innocent, gullible, naive.

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he doesnt control me or dominate me, how do u know. im his first young gir so he has been with ppl his own age

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I have guys 20 years younger than me trying to get with me so shut up-you don't know what your're talking about.

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totally agree. if a 29 yr old man is dating a 16 yr old (not even a legal adult!) he's obviously using you for one thing. This isn't rocket science people.

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not if he doesnt get it.

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9 More Responses

I don't think so. <br />
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The man, first of all, is 13 years older than the girl. That creates a wide generation gap, especially when she is only 16 and he is 29. The probably won't be able to find much common ground as a result.<br />
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16 is still a minor in the USA, so it would be illegal.<br />
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A man that is 29 who seeks out a 16 year old girl to have a relationship rings some alarm bells. Why is he seeking out someone so young? Why doesn't he look for women who are approximately (11 years even) around his age? Why has he chosen someone who is far younger? Does he think that he can mold her because a 16 year old's mind is generally more malleable, her morals slightly more clay-like than an older woman's? Does he believe he can dominate her because of the age difference? Does he just want to sleep with someone who is so young because he wishes he was a teenager again? Does he believe he can run circles around her and make her do what he wants because he is more cunning and experienced in the world?<br />
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There are far too many "why is he doing this?" scenarios that lead down very dangerous paths.<br />
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I don't see the relationship lasting because the man likely has ulterior motives.

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well hes not like that and its legal in the uk.
we have a lot in common aswell...
it has lasted 2 and a half months already

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"He's not like that" is one of the most common responses from people who do not wish to look deeper at someone because they are afraid of what they may or may not find. Just saying.

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its not like you know him is it

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I know I don't, which is why I gave a list of "well, it might be x, y etc." Again though, you are using a defensive response that ALOT of girls your age use. I just strongly caution you, and beg of you to look deeper at his behavior and the relationship. I am not trying to be your parent.

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ok

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2 and a half months aint long at all honey. It takes a whole lot longer than that to get to know someone. From my experience, I've known people for years who I thought I knew who ended up doing things I never wouldve thought they'd done. My brother was 24 years old when he got a 14 year old girl pregnant. She married him at 18, had 2 kids with him by then. When she turned 21, she regretted it and went wild. Had 4 kids by age 24. My brother shouldve knew better than to do that to a LITTLE GIRL. So many people around him are having to deal with the stress of his mistakes. He molested me when I was a kid, so gotta ask yourself why a man wants to be with a teenager.

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The stupidity of people today. <br />
No, it's called babysitting, not dating.

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excuse me...its not your relationship so if your going to say crap like that then i would rather you not say anything at all.

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Then don't ask relationship related questions on a public site. ******* duh.

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No, honey. No. Not only because of his age- but because you asked. <br />
The age is a concern as it is- the fact you need assurance just backs your insecurities.<br />
Trust your instincts- they are there for a reason.

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i just wanted to know what some people thought of the age gap

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Hell no!! What would a 29yr old man want with a 16yr old girl? Probably wants nothing but sex

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he doesnt ask for sex

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Not yet at least. Eh I don't think this relatinship will work out. You're young and you should be dating someone you own age. This guy probably thinks he has you wrapped around his finger and will do whatever he says... just my opinion, I could be totally wrong

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u r totally wrong

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Hope so

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y do u judge men

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No. at 16 she's way too young for him and a normal guy of his age should be interested in girls a lot older than 16.

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well thats your view

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yes it is. and you really should find someone closer to your age group

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i dont like boys my age

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No. Because something is seriously wrong with a 29 year old who finds interest in a 16 year old.

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why is there

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yea 'iwantpizza' please enlighten us on what is "seriously wrong"? It sounds preeetty serious

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I am retyping what LovetoVent wrote below because I agree completely with what he said: "He's after sex with a little girl who is immature and easy to manipulate and the girl is after love and is blind by her own naive youth."

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cant you say it in your own words then

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Why make up new words when someone else said it PERFECTLY?

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cause they r wrong

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not a romantic one..... because age and experience are a type of leverage most young people haven't experienced. Two, a 29 yr old guy that prefers 16yr old to someone not half their age generally has some problems...if not they wouldn't have to look for what they perceive as innocent or less experience companionship. Three...a 16 is not from a physical perspective an adult...but a 29 yr old is...so that in and of itself would tell a rational adult that the relationships is not ok.

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thanks for your input

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Your prerogative in the end, but since you want to date an adult, deal with any adult-like consequences that may come up. You think you got it all figured out, then enjoy.

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Would you find it appropriate for a 29 yr old woman and a 16 yr old boy to have a relationship? I think it is trouble with a capital T. Your answer is within your question a girl and a man or a woman and a boy should not be linked romantically. When the child grows up perhaps they could get involved. No one is fully an adult until they are financially and emotionally responsible for themselves. Until then, the adult is simply manipulating and exploiting the child. If it is truly love, then he can wait until you are out on your own (have started college or a job and have your own place to live, and pay your own bills, etc.)

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hes not

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yet

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May i ask how long you've been together?

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2 and a half months

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Your premise @Bre1970, is inherently flawed because it does not account for biology and nature. Males of all species including humans need maturity to be able to provide for and defend a family. In gorillas and apes it means the young females mate with an older "grayback" male. Same with elephants, bison, lions, horses, deer, etc. A young human female needs a man who is economically and emotionally stable and strong for the success of her family. A young man her age is not old enough and stable enough. On the other side a male who finally achieves his ultimate maturity and power needs a female who is entering her child bearing years, not an old female his age. An older male and younger female is the ideal biological and social pair for humans and most other species. It cannot and does not work in the reverse as @Bre1970 used for a poor example.

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i totally agree with you

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I was not referring to biology but sociology.

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If everything was so wonderful, why did you pose the question?

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i wanted to know opinions on my relationship....im not gonna change it

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No, no, no, no!!!! A 16 year old girl should be studying for her exams ... and the 29 year old man if he is even thinking of having a relationship with the 16 year old should be imprisoned .. Capisce!!! (hope my Italian is correct)

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why do you think that

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You to focus here. Believe it or not, you are a little girl - precious at that. You need to be educated. Books and boys (in this case man) don't mix. A 29 year old is more than an adult ... he is not good for you at this time in your life.

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thats your judgement

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Sure my dear ... Focus on your school work and what you would like to achieve. There is plenty of time for a boyfriend. Trust me, I have two sons older than you are. I gave them the same advice ... Thank God they listened!

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well my mum likes him and ive finished school. i go to college now

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Then go to college ... you may meet someone there during your stay. Do not burden yourself with a man right now. Enjoy your teenage years ... be a teenager

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i go to college

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Focus on college. Do not divide your time between this guy and your school work. Do not burden yourself ... I am giving you good advice here

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ur not

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I gather if I had said "go for it" that would have been good advice. I would not tell you that ... But if you want to be another statistic by all means

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If it were a friendly relationship and not a romantic relationship I see no problem. A girl of 16 should not be dating a man almost twice her age.

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its a romantic one.

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Please don't be offended, but I hope it will not last very long.

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why?

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I give up. You are far too dense.

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N.O. NEGATIVE, 0

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why?

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No I do not. No matter how mature the girl is a 29 year old man should not be dating/seeing a 16 year old girl. There is far too large a difference in life experience for that to be a healthy relationship. Simple as that really.You are talking about a difference in life experience equal to that of that between the 16 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. Just not healthy for either party honestly.

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well thts how you see it

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Yes based upon my 43 years of life, multiple 'committed' relationships, children, etc. that is how I see it. While certainly you are going to have to live your own life you might take notice that the vast majority of people advising you are giving you advice you are dismissing because it isn't what you wanted to hear. Frequently that is because inside yourself you know the advice to be good advice. *shrug* It is up to you young lady, but none of us wish you ill will and all of us would not like to see you get hurt emotionally.

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k

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No. Because a 29 year old man is fully grown and Should be responsible and mature. A 16 year old girl is still in High school, and should be worrying about things like her grades, her driver's liscence, and a curfew. I wasn't completely mature by 16 myself. That and it is SO illegal in the United States....and morally, I think it is wrong wrong wrong.

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im not at school and i dont have a curfew

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well you should. its a right shame to waste your young years.

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so

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If you think there is nothing wrong with this situation, then why are you even on here asking others opinions? If you think there's not a problem, why even come on here asking this? Because deep down you know IT ISNT RIGHT!

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i just wanted to know other peoples reaction to my life.

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It should remain a friendship until you are at least 18. 16 year olds can have older people as mentors, but a 29 year old man should not be in a romantic/sexual mind fr<x>ame with you.

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thts ur opinion

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Yes, it is. Bravo.

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and its crap

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I'm 35 in 10 days, I was actually being supportive because I was hurt as a teenager.

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why does age atter and i have been too

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Without the thought of ulterior motives, without the age gap, totally different life experiences, and every other reason why the two of you, at two totally different life stages, probably can't work out in the long term, there is one more thing:<br />
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In the United States, even if you are the age of consent, he can get in trouble for corrupting a minor for so much as laying a hand on you.

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ok

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my husband was 13 years elder to me... but there is always a right time to understand relationships..age is just a number

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thx

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The 29 yr old knows what is right and what is wrong. If she was 20 and he was 33 then it would be different.<br />
how mature would a girl be at 16? In her mind I mean.

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well it depends

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