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I'm asking because I have a friend who met this guy online and is gonna meet him in person. I'm quite worried because a year ago my other friend invited this boy she met online to her house and he ended up beating and raping her. This friend is going to meet him in a public place though but she said that if he seems nice they might go to his place. My friend is not worried at all but I am. Should I tell her that I'm worried or just stay out of her business?
Gialle Gialle 18-21, F 15 Answers May 28 in Dating & Relationships

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YES

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Well, it is so common nowadays ( depending on where you live) that being said always have an exit strategy, always let people know where you are... go to a public place and have someone who can get you out quick. Usually it's not scary just awkward smetimes.

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All guys will want to go to a private place, and it's not a good idea. I have been groped in a car too so beware of going in cars with them too.

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And while the first time you do it is weird, it gets different the more you do it. 80 percent of people are now doing online dating. ( by that I mean via dating sites because through say, EP I think has other risk levels because on dating sites you only give out information you want them to know and you usually meet them after a week so no feelings are involved whereas via somewhere else like here you can go for months talking and so there is a high expectation that things would go according to plan.

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I would also go to google image to make sure he is the person he says he is. ( At least looks wise and name) because a lot of ppl lie . Beware of that.

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Basically be weary the first time and even afterwards, and realize some can be con artists/ just want to sleep with you.

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The google image search isn't really necessary if they just Skype first or something. Which really, they probably should have done several times before meeting unless they live really close.

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2 More Responses

There are risks associated with it.

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I would advise her not to go to his place on a first date. In fact, I'd advise her not to until she meets some of his friends. My gf and I have met people online and when we meet them in person, we usually invite them to public places and/or house parties that friends of ours throw. Either way, it is good to let her know you are worried.

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Hi Gialle <br />
obviously is dangerous. I was going today was safe if you took precautions but after reading what you said I would definitely tell her what happened to your other friend. If she knows and she goes and gets hurt then at least you warned her. Maybe say don't go to his place until she knows him well?

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That's good advice. I'll do that and hope she listens.

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Meeting someone online is becoming the norm. Unfortunately you really don't know the intentions of the other person. It is smart for her to meet him in a public place but she shouldn't invite him over just yet. I hope she does a thorough background check/google search on him first.

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Advise her not to go to his place on the first date, no matter how well it goes.

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Yeah I told her that it probably isn't good idea but she is one of those people who trust easily, too easily... I hope all goes well.

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My ex, who I met online, was extremely lucky I'm not a rapist. o_o She was so trusting I advised her to be more suspicious of me, and especially of anyone she would date in the future if we broke up. But I don't think she listened, we were really very different. >_>

I can't really think of any good way for you to caution your friend. She must have a better idea of the risks than anyone? :/

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Yeah it's hard for me because I'm soooo suspicious and she is the complete opposite. I'll try to explain to her to be cautious and hope she understands. Thank you!

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It can be very dangerous. If she insists on meeting him she should bring a friend with her for the entire meet.

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Not always, I think

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yup

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Go with her and put off going to his house. Stay public.

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Just meet im a public place and don't invite over unless you have someone else in your home.

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Nope. Take the usual precautions and it is no more dangerous than talking to any other stranger

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