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SadDuckieBird SadDuckieBird 31-35, F 17 Answers Jun 21, 2011

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Once upon a time, all the time, now not so much, but if I could go, and still have those that mattered there with me, maybe

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I used to...not anymore though. It's pointless...dreaming and sleeping is just another way to be awake. When you dream and sleep you are still alive. You can achieve the same affect by coasting through life and being "here but not here" which are phases that happen when you make up your mind you'll never commit suicide, which, you try to overcome...I am getting there, I am not that way all the time. There are those times, you live just to get through another day and every day that passes is a mission accomplished, where you don't care what you do, you just want to pass the time in your "prison" and make the most of it...which actually is a step in the right direction, trying to make the most of what you have...it can lead to a lot of pointless things you do to waste time though...I do have goals, but I don't work at them as much as I should. But everything is better than suicide. :) If you can find one thing that makes you happy every day, good job, you are getting better. The more things in a day you appreciate, the better you are doing. When you can see every day as an adventure and not a grueling job, then you are almost there...I am always trying to improve myself, I have a lot to still overcome but I am doing a lot better than I used to be.

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Yes

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Consistently for years.

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No, actually, sometimes i wake up gasping for air terrified. the idea of dying is so vivid that it shatters my mind. all i can see is the eternal void. believe me when you come face to face with death, you are gonna wish with every cell of you that you can have just one more breath. so i say **** it all. enjoy every single moment and never look forward to dying

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no, i love the life i live.. it's not perfect but it's all mine.. and one day it will all be taken away with out my consent.. that is the saddest part of my life

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Yes, I have... but not lately, life is good for me now!

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All the time.

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When I was getting high, I wanted that every night.

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yes, but i know what the answer is. i just had a dream about her. hmm, maybe that's why i don't want to wake up.

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