Yes it can but it doesn't mean that you have to blame your childhood every time you hurt somebody, we're all responsible for our own actions.
Agreed. I don't know why life seems to be so unfair. Those born into good loving families, tend to marry partners who are good for them, while those who have already suffered a great deal in their family of origin, tend to go on to marry partners who cause them additional pain.
I understand the mechanism behind it; I just haven't come to terms with the unfairness of it being so.
agreed :-) very wise advice.
To Bernice Republican: I know you mean well, but it's not about going after looks as you mentioned to someone else here. It's not about going after money. It's about a subconscious pull on the part of two people to somehow try to "fix" the past, by repeating the problem, thus giving them another chance to make things right -- however it rarely goes that way. As far as your suggestion to "be close to a person who is respectful, fair, trustworthy and accepts you no matter what" -- where is this person? I've been trying to make a friend who will stick around for as long as I can remember. The only people I have been able to forge that kind of relationship with are my son and his fiancee. This world works against long term friendships, because people are either geographically mobile or are simply too busy and overwhelmed with their own families and responsibilities.
A late reply to old post...I am struggling to find those good types, and when I find them-it almost seems they, including potential dates, back away from me because of my "baggages" ignoring good qualities in me or not give a chance to get know me because I appear to have "red flags"--no children, no significant other, and no loving/supportive family. I do not how know to fix it.
One person once told me they dont want the heavy burden when if I hit the hard time because I dont have anyone on my side to pitch in. I can understand their prespective but I did not ask to be born and adopted into wrong family and I am being "punished" for it. So much for unconditional friendship or love.
I'm sorry, but keep looking at those stars and enjoying the lilies!
yes of course family abuse not only affect love life but also disturb mantle power
Absolutely!!! I am living proof. I had allot of child abuse. I still get into the wrong relationships. I am haunted by my past even with medication, therapy, groups, reading books and buying CD's( self help).<br />
It's a struggle and hardship.<br />
There are days I want to give up.<br />
But what has saved me is the love of my animals. And volunteering at animal shelters and helping people in need.<br />
I'm not sure if I will ever love/ relationship again. But life is worth getting up and trying everyday.
Yes, Its as if childhood victims end up with an invisible tattoo across they foreheads.
not overly comfortable going into detail about me and with my ex she had her own experiences,we were a toxic combination in the bedroom,kink is one thing but we were just hurting each other by the end of our relationship,she will never know how much I love her but loving her was accepting that what we had was more about sharing something as dirty as we have been made feel