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I have an 18 year old son that about a year ago lost his father. I don't think this has anything to do with what is going on right now, but I did want to add that. Me & his father weren't together, but they were very close and obviously took it hard. Pretty much since my son turned 18 years old, he hasn't been at home hardly at all. I mean, he is here to sleep, then wakes up for school, maybe after school comes home to change for work, then after work, doesn't come home til late. He hasn't missed much school, maybe a class or two. Doesn't miss work. I just want the best fo him, and right now isn't 100% doing so well in school at the moment. I just want some advice to talking to him and making him understand that not coming home, and staying out late and doing some of the things that he is doing is disrespectfull. Maybe I am just being over wrong here, but PLEASE if anyone could give me some suggestions, please do so!!
pattypen200 pattypen200 31-35, F 2 Answers Mar 10, 2010

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Well, to be honest the loss of his father probably is playing a very large role in his mood and lack of success in school.<br />
As a social worker, I think his behaviours are fairly typical of an 18 year old. I can say most 18 year olds probably are not home much at all. This is an age of exploration and boundry testing. Trust me, I work with 9 youth between the ages or 16 and 22. <br />
Do you know what he does when he is out? Is he honest with you? <br />
I think it is positive that he is coming home, but the best thing you can do is let him know you are supportive of him, that you understand that he is going through a rough time in his life, thatyou love him, and that you want the best for him. Focus on his positives and ask him how he could improve and what his goals are. I don't think it is unreasonable for an 18 year old to be out late some nights or have overnight s with friends, but maybe set your boundries a bit more firmly. Ask him what is reasonable and what he can commit to AND HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE if he doesn't follow through.<br />
Looking at the situation for a lense that sees stregths will do wonders for you. He probably feels pretty down, but has difficulty expressing his emotions.<br />
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I hope this helps. If you need anything else, let me know! Youth are my specialty!

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I feel for you

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