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i had crazy crash on this guy but i never told him and i did this all crazy things like cuting myself and cry and staff and than i got over him and my closest friend left me and she was like sister to me and now i bf and my friend came back but i am scared to love him i try my hardest not to love him and my friend keep telling me that i am not over that guy thats why i cant love my bf its not that i am scared so who is right me or her ?
mary3000 mary3000 13-15, F 1 Answer Jun 9 in Dating & Relationships

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:c only you will know? You can't love him so maybe psychologically you're telling yourself that if you love again, you'll go back to that time where you were depressed and cut yourself. So that's why you can't love him. That makes sense. And because it's psychological, you don't even realise that's what's going on but it is.

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but i dont reject it

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but that doesnt mean i am still not over him right

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Maybe yeah. Don't reject what?

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cuting myself or crying

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Have you ever tried to stop? I know it's hard but I went through the same thing but with a lot more burning than cutting. If you try to make yourself feel happier and better without him, it will really help you. You need to accept what happened and the fact that is is okay for those things to happen and you to move on. None of it was your fault, don't hurt yourself over it x

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i stopped but will i look at the old cuts i dont feel like i did something wrong or that i wish i never did it

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will=when

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That's natural. I'm glad you stopped, very very glad. You need to accept what happened and realise that it's okay. It may take some time. Heck, it took me Almost a year, the depressed little sad girl that I was. You're lucky in the sense that you have a friend who is there for you and a boyfriend who loves you. Don't push him away, try to love him back. It will take time but im sure he'll understand. It's okay of it takes time, as long as things are improving, that's what matters. :)

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but here is the problem i am scared to love him

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i dont have to try to love him because i am already falling but i am trying to hold myself back as much as i can

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Don't hold back. You need to realise, he does love you. He won't hurt you like the first ******* did. It will take time but you need to open up x

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Why do they keep putting asterisks on my words?!! Gosh they're not even swear words

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but can u promises me that he wont

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You're gonna have to ask him to do that. I'm really sorry. I can promise you though, that if anyone ever hurts you, I'll be here to help you. I know how you feel and it's probably the crappest feeling in the world x

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i did too much to get over him and than i did too much to stop cuting i dont want to start for the begging if i left myself to love him the moment he leaves i will die form the pain just like i did in the first time

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I know x just ask him if he does love you and will stay with you. Personally, I wouldn't recommend getting into another relationship until you're fully healed from the previous one but since you already are in one, maybe it can help you. The way to tell is by talking to him about it. Good luck x

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what if he lied

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That's true. See this is why I don't recommend getting into a relationship. I guess it's gonna have to ride on how much you trust him. He'll understand if you tell him you need space though right?

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yeh i gusse

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So maybe tell him that and then wait till you've fully healed? I mean it will probably help the most.

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but i feel like i will miss him

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Awww then maybe you can ask him to help you get over the other guy? He sounds nice enough, he should agree right?

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i dont know i was honest with him but i am over the other guy and he thinks that too

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If you're sure, then that's great! Maybe even though you're over him, you're still afraid of getting hurt and reacting in that way again?

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In any case, I'm sure you'll be fine if he's ready to support you through all of this :D

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yeh thats why i am scared to love him

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Awww o.o well you trust him right? I'm sure he won't hurt you. Just talk to him about it and you'll get through it x

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thanks

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No problem! If you need anything else, just message me, I'm here. Good luck x

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thanks :)

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No problem! :)

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