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Grew up in a hostile environment due to WW2 vet with extreme PTSD, mother was insanely religious. Married young to escape home. 2nd marriage was abusive but survived. Third and last marriage was like a dream. Thought I found true love. Once his adult child moved closer, all the love, affection and time vanished. He makes no time for his minor child we had together. This is not the man I married. Though my upbringing was tough, I learned valuable lessons, high integrity, morals, self sufficiency and some not so good such as cutting people out of my life. I am and have for the most been a loner. I have no friends. I worked my way from the bottom to the top, being VP of a mufti-million $ company only to lose that due to the President taking his own life. I don't care who reads this, in saying that, I feel free to also say that I have absolutely no desire left for anything and that includes the beating of my heart. What's wrong with me?
PerputalPain PerputalPain 46-50, F 8 Answers Jun 14 in Dating & Relationships

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Im sorry, it seems you were dealt an unfair hand, many people get the short end of the stick and it makes them feel drained and hopeless, i just wanted to come on and say Yes, Love really does exist, because i have seen it, and I did feel it myself once, even though it was a disaster and still hurts 4 years later... but still, i have seen love to amazing things, it softened my c*nt of a brother into a decent guy, he has been with her for 7 or 8 years now, and they are engaged and happy as ever, just bought a house. Its a sad state of affairs when my practical brother with no poetry of any kind in his soul is my go-to example of real love but there it is. I do believe that real love is quite rare though, so there is nothing wrong with anyone who cant find it.

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You are depressed. I know, I have spent most of my life being depressed. See a doctor and he should be able to give you something to take the edge off things for you. I take Zoloft, and I swear by it. Very much worth the week or more of waiting for it to kick in. It is a very gentle feel-good thing, not strong or 'druggy' at all.

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only for some people, unfortunately im not one of them

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nothing you are fine

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Sounds about average.

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It does, as long as you keep throwing logs in the fire.

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