Im sorry, it seems you were dealt an unfair hand, many people get the short end of the stick and it makes them feel drained and hopeless, i just wanted to come on and say Yes, Love really does exist, because i have seen it, and I did feel it myself once, even though it was a disaster and still hurts 4 years later... but still, i have seen love to amazing things, it softened my c*nt of a brother into a decent guy, he has been with her for 7 or 8 years now, and they are engaged and happy as ever, just bought a house. Its a sad state of affairs when my practical brother with no poetry of any kind in his soul is my go-to example of real love but there it is. I do believe that real love is quite rare though, so there is nothing wrong with anyone who cant find it.
You are depressed. I know, I have spent most of my life being depressed. See a doctor and he should be able to give you something to take the edge off things for you. I take Zoloft, and I swear by it. Very much worth the week or more of waiting for it to kick in. It is a very gentle feel-good thing, not strong or 'druggy' at all.
only for some people, unfortunately im not one of them
nothing you are fine
Sounds about average.