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Resolved Question
Does quitting self-harm ever get any easier?
I've self-harmed since I was around 8 years old. I started for a number of reasons at the time. I wont go into these coz these arent really what I need to know.

I just want to know if this gets any easier. Nearly 10 years and I still feel like the vulnerable messed up kid that I was back then, after several psychologists and counsellors and psychiatrists. I've done the lot but I still feel messed up. The little things in my day will set me off spiraling into a bad mood... And I wish for the life of me someone would for one minute stop telling me its a children thing coz all the women in my family have bipolar disorder so im just guessing i more than likely have it too. I dont know... I just want this to be easier than it is. I want to cut and fall back into it but I cant.
But I dont know if its even worth it if im gonna always be so messed up =[

I dont even know... just.. i want it to click or something and for everythng to be okay =[
Posted 4 months ago
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Yes! I can't say it gets easy, but it does get easier.
I was probably 7 or 8 when i started self harming, 11-12 when I started cutting. I was 18 when I stopped. It's been almost 4 years now (3 years, 6 months, 19 days. Easier, not easy), and sometimes I don't even think about it for weeks at a time. I don't even slip up anymore, it's too easy to go back to it. I won't risk it. Have someone you trust (therapist, pastor, friend, parent, doesn't matter as long as you trust them enough to be completely honest. It's hard.), and believe you can do it. And when you don't believe, tell yourself anyway.
It won't just click, but with a lot of work, you can do it.

It's the first step to not feeling like that lost kid anymore too.

And it's not a kid thing. They don't understand it. Just stand firm. Maybe explain it to them if you can?
Posted 4 months ago

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Posted Aug 28th, 2008 at 7:38AM
Yes.
I harmed myself from fifteen to eighteen, and I'm nineteen now. I dragged myself out of it by the scruff of my neck, and, yeah, sometimes I'll lapse, and I'll cut, two, maybe three lines. But it's worse, now, and the guilt overrides any satisfaction I might have got from it before.

Before, I was cutting every night, and now, it's less than once a month. I'm still depressed, and I'm on my first course of medication now, but I can't go back to harming myself, because I know if I start, I won't stop. It's too addictive.
But the less you do it, the easier it gets to walk away.

My scars have turned keloid, and can never be removed or smoothed over, for risk of causing more damage, I've done nerve damage so my arms, and shoulder in particular, will never be the same. Every time someone sees them, I have to try and explain, or lie, and that's what finally made me stop.
Because I was sick of people looking at me and knowing something was wrong.

So yes, it gets easier, and if you go back into it, then quit, then back to it - it's still better than keeping going, because the more you try, the easier it gets to stop for longer. I've been quitting since I was seventeen, and I'm still getting there, but these days I know it's not the easy option. Keep trying, because it does get better.
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Posted Aug 27th, 2008 at 8:59PM
Cutting is the easy way out of the spiraling out of control emotions, the crying spells, and the short of breath nervous feelings. It was my coping mechanism for a short time. I'd never understood why people did it, until it was instinct for me to do my when I had my first panic attack at 17. It is an addiction, and like any addiction, it is hard to stop. I am 19 now, and I have no desire to. After seeing the people around me in pain from what I was doing to myself, and having to cover the marks up from embaressment, I decided to stop it. I still have dark scars, and probably will forever, up and down my arms. There fading but I dont think they will ever be completely disappeared. It will take every bit of motivation and force in you to deal with it on your own.

A great alternative that works instead of cutting is writing on here, and getting your feelings out on this site. Another idea a therapist told me was using a rubber band...everytime the desire to cut was felt, snap the rubber band as hard as you can. Feeling pain in nonharmful ways to your body, such a snapping a rubber band, is a sure way to release tension, or distract your mind from painful feelings and crying.

Stay strong, let your emotions out often, dont bubble them up, it often leads to the overwhelming feeling and desire to cut. Everything worth while takes time and strength, dont give up, but look to other ways to handle it. God bless.
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Posted Aug 28th, 2008 at 1:33AM
i hope so. i am still quitting so i cannot say for sure but i did not have child hood trama i can remember. i just have the worst self esteem and continue to punish myself
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Posted Aug 28th, 2008 at 4:15AM
The best answer I can give you is to change what you are doing. Become active in something. Change the way you are living. Read books. Just keep your mind healthy, eventualy you will leave the old self harming habits.
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Posted Aug 28th, 2008 at 7:39AM
in a word, yes. eventually (i at least) decided i was sick of long sleeve shirts and that was that!
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