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My parents give me money if i need it, which i am grateful for. But that's all. My dad constantly tells me i am a let down and he is ashamed of me and that if i moved out he would not care. My mother tells me that she hates the way i am and wants me to change who i am. Although they give me money, i don't feel loved by them is that wrong?
GoBeyondReality GoBeyondReality 18-21, F 10 Answers Nov 17, 2012 in Family Struggles

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It might be their way of motivating you to prove them wrong. They won't be giving you money and continue their support if they don't love you... :)

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They love you, but they hate what you're doing (or not doing) with your life. If they didn't love you they wouldn't care enough to complain.

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I really don`t think they have fallen out of love with you. They would be devastated if anything happened to you. They just seem old fashioned and maybe can`t cope with the modern world, of which you are a part.

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You're 18, you live at home, don't work, don't go to school, they support you. What did you expect, that they'd be proud of you for being a lazy good-for-nothing piece of s h i t?

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Who said i dont go to school or work o.O

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You didn't mention it so I assumed your parents had a good reason to treat you like a douchebag freeloader because under normal circumstances parents treat their offspring better than what you've described.

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I go to college, i am doing a HND

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Congrats! Why does your father say you are a let down and he is ashamed of you? Why does your mother say she hates the way you are. You haven't explained what motivates these unkind statements. Are your parents evil? It sounds like it without an explanation.

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I honestly do not know, i help around the house. I work hard. My dad have never seen eye to eye with me. And my mom dislikes that i am not a girly gilrl.

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What don't you see eye-to-eye on with your dad?

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I dont know we never really got along, whenever we talk he picks on all my negatives and starts a fight

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It sounds like your parents are screwed up people and not very nice parents. I'm so sorry. Do your best in school and move away as soon as possible. I'm sure they've had a negative impact on your life in ways that you might not even realize at this stage of your life. It sounds like you're a very responsible and kind-hearted young lady. Most people would be proud to have you for a daughter. I know I would be. When you have time after you've started your career, read about or get professional therapy about your childhood. You'll bring the baggage with you into your own romantic relationships. You'll be better off if you get that figured out before you get in a relationship, start having problems, but don't know why. Love to you from across the pond.

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Thank you :)

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Saying that she hates the way you are is not the same as saying that she hates WHO you are. What does she mean by that? Do you need to step up to the plate and get a job? That is not about WHO you are, that is about what you are or are not doing. There are many other things like that as well. She may well like WHO you are, but just not what you are or are not doing with who you are.

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She hates me because i am not like any other girls in the family. I am not a girly girl, she doesnt like taking me to see family cause she feels ashamed

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no they don't love you

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