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EP, I'm not good at meeting guys for the first time- I shake a bit and forget what to say. Any advice on calming down?

I'm fine if I've seen someone at least a few times- unless I really like them, and then the shaking and such will continue a few times more :/.

I have been more outgoing in college, and even started a club and started talking more in classes. I talk to people at church.

Please don't say, "Just be yourself". I AM myself, it's the nerves I need trouble soothing!

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6 Answers to "EP, I'm not good at meeting guys for the first time- I shake a bit and forget what to say. Any advice on calming down?"

  1. wanderingsage - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by wanderingsage Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:34AM

    Learn to breathe properly and can use the full breathe

    Like (2)

  2. LonexWolf - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by LonexWolf Sep 8th, 2012 at 12:52PM

    THIS has helped me in the past!

    Like (1)

  3. deltadon - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by deltadon Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:10AM

    practice...........start small with the weather & such.......people aren't that scary .......most of em are nervous too

    Like (2)

  4. NotBackingDown - 13-15 years old - female

    Posted by NotBackingDown Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:09AM

    Not be yourself/ Be civilized when you first meet someone . Like do what a polite person would do. Slowly the yourself side will come out as you get more comfortable

    Like (2)

  5. abstraction - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by abstraction Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:15AM

    Remember second contact with this girl at uni, and I stood there with nothing to say, feeling like an idiot. Couldn't think of a single thing to say, like the whole universe was void of conversation topics. I had just turned 19. I guess it was ok, because we're still together.

    Like (1)

  6. LonexWolf - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by LonexWolf Oct 27th, 2012 at 3:57PM

    When two people have a kinda unspoken connection, maybe it can overcome things like that. Maybe we aren't as stuck as we think we are... Or maybe you are an extremely lucky guy, ha!

    Like (1)

  7. abstraction - male

    Reply by abstraction Oct 27th, 2012 at 4:32PM

    Long way back. I can talk to anyone now. And you're right, we can talk, but often an exchanged glance across the room can tell an entire story.

    Like (1)

  8. plungesponge - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by plungesponge Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:13AM

    For your fears, just ask yourself "and then what?". So you meet a new person...and then what? You could say something stupid...and then what? They could laugh at you...and then what? You could be embarrassed....and then what? They could see you shaking...and then what? Most often you'll find your mind has blown fear out of all proportion to anything that matters.

    Like (1)

  9. KnightOfJustice - 16-17 years old - male

    Posted by KnightOfJustice Sep 8th, 2012 at 7:04AM

    I'm the same way with girls, my advice would be to just try to clear your mind and breathe, relax and gather your thoughts. Even practice with a friend or to a mirror what you want to say, being prepared could never hurt.

    Like (1)

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