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My boyfriend and I dated a year before we graduated college. My love for him had always been fizzling away but I decided to not act on it. Shortly, he started doing his internship, and I stay cross-country. I thought this would be a true test for my feelings for him. Turns out, I don't really care. I even imagine him with another girl to see if that would get me riled up, but it doesn't. We gave ourselves a year after graduation, and if we still couldn't find a way to make it non-long-distance, we would move on separately. He still has feelings for me, and now that his internship is done, he is having problems at his parent's house because they are separated, and he doesn't want to be involved in their complications. He is already asking me if he can move in with me when I get a job (because I was interviewed for a position close to his hometown). I understand his pain, but I don't know how to break it to him easily? I wanted to tell him earlier but his internship got in the way. Help!
PreYeah PreYeah 22-25, F 4 Answers Aug 27, 2011

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Don't do it. The easiest but harshest way would be to tell him that you found someone else. Since he has feelings for you, he would be upset and distance himself. Or, similarly, you could tell him your honest feelings that you don't want to end up with him and that you don't love him. Trust me, when things like taking breaks and negative feelings start in the beginning, they only get worse overtime. Sure, there is counseling and all that, but from my knowledge, they end eventually, sooner rather than later. There's a saying, All is fair in love and war. I think it's true. You have to do what is right for yourself, first. Otherwise, you'll do what is right for him, for the time being, and then you'll grow bitter and be unfair to yourself, and later to him because your feelings will hurt the relationship and he will get unhappy. That's all I can think of.

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Thanks for the response, Joes. I think I may need to white-lie my way to him. The irony is that all this time, I have secretly been hoping that he would find and fall for somebody else. The physical proximity between me and my boyfriend are the least of my worries. He is very supportive of me, and is very talented in what he does but he doesn't have any confidence, self-esteem, or optimism, which has hampered his personality and perspective on many things. Unfortunately, this negativity has also carried into his household between his parents. I feel more at peace being away from him than being with him constantly trying to make him feel good, so I'm done trying to see if my thoughts of escape were being felt out of impulse or out of reason.

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Good. It sounds like you know what needs to be done. Good luck with everything. Always do what results in the least regret.

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Tell him the truth on his face. Don't keep him living up on expectations from this relation ship.

He might be crushed for few days, but it will be good for him after those days, he will learn how to handle this kind of situations.

so please please please go and tell him what u feel right on his face. It will be good for both of you.

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