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While I am not exactly friends with his gf, we are friendly acquaintences. She is about to let him move in with her and her 10 yr old son. (In March). Should I tell her before she lets him move in and ends up "stuck?" He cheated on me, he cheated on her and he will do it again. He and I are on friendly terms. However, like I said, I do not want him back nor would I ever get back with him.
EclecticBohemian EclecticBohemian 41-45, F 8 Answers Dec 29, 2013 in Affairs

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This is tuff because like someone else esaid it would be constantly on your conscious because there is a child involved but if you do tell her, she might think you're just being jealous. He could say the same thing.

I was in a situation like this where my best freinds bf was trying to get with me (and has been cheating on her no doubt) and I told my friend about it and of course she believed him. Women are nuts when it comes to men. AND this was my best friend. all you are to this woman is a friendly acquaintance.

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Valid point. I mean I'm the type of person who tries to get along with everyone. I know they both could potentially end up hating me. That's okay, I have thick skin and I know my intentions were good. If she wants to live in denial, so be it. She'll find out eventually.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to say anything or not. That's why I'm asking for all of the feedback, to make my decision.

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I would stay out of it... Because she probably already knows this and is in denial. I'm telling you this from past experience...

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Nope, stay out of it. Just ask yourself if you ever known someone who was in love with another, even if it was at their detriment, that would listen to anyone else's advice?

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Good point but she has voiced a concern for suspecting him.

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When a person 'suspects' that means they usual already know. The brain known better, but the heart is in denial.

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SIMPLE - NONE of your business to be honest and no offense





You must want him back as you are talking about him

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Words of wisdom from a wise man himself

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Nope.
(Oops, meant to put this here and not under the other reply...sorry, new at this. Ha)

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If you were her, would you want to be told? There you go.

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Yes, I would. Especially with a kid involved. If she didn't have her son living with her I would keep quiet about it. Let her learn how I did. However, I hate to see an innocent kid have to possibly be affected by this.

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Right. Well, all you have to do is tell her. It's entirely on her if she wants to believe you and take action or not. I'm sure you're prepared to lose them both as friendly acquaintances though that doesn't seem like such a great loss.

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Well if you were in her shoes what would you want to happen?

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I would DEFINITELY want someone to tell me. In fact, I wish someone would have told me before I wasted YEARS with him and had my kids go through the stressful changes.

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Certainly, No!!!! My guess is that if you tell her, she'll confront him and he'll deny it labelling your story as 'the machination of a scorned woman who would do all she can to wreck his relationship"

She'll believe him and you now have two people who depise you. Let her find out the hard way.

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I have proof...undeniable proof.

Plus if they end up hating me, so be it. Don't really care.

Still haven't decided, though. :)

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