Being a parent is sometimes so tough I just defies explanation. I have two very different children that are 2 1/2 years apart. There have been times that I was sure my head would explode from frustration. It's irritating but true, your stress level affects ho thy act. So sorry, I know that probably sounds completely useless but tough times eventually pass. If you have a new baby in the house you are learning to be a parent of TWO instead of just one. It is not the same thing at all! Similar I some ways but not all! From a mom perspective, take a look at the things that you do that take up time and stress out and ease up on them for a while. Could be the house, volunteering, family obligations, projects, whatever. Right now you are in the thick of it, know that you are doing the best you can. Are you sleeping enough, eating healthy? Rest is hard to get sometimes but SO important.
And if your daughter does have some delays in development, social etc then that's how it is and you will learn to work with it. There is help out here, if you don't have it at home, keep looking until you find it. Asking is the first step, good for you ~
I say this to let you know you have support out here. I have A degree in Family Studies and years providing social support and clinical services to families with multiple social/learning and mental health issues. Beyond that my kids are 91/2 and 12 and I made it thru and so will you ;-) Trained professionals may be able to provide some of what you need, compassionate, understanding parents can provide the rest.
I'm not a parent, but I'm not ignorant of child rearing either.
Who's the boss?
You have already let her know, you will give in to her.
Sometimes you have to go through the Storm, to get through to them.
Or find an alternative.
I tried that 'time out' crap with my niece. She was so strong!!!!
The only way she was going to do 'time out' (sitting in a corner), is if I'd break her legs, and sat on her!
I did the opposite.
When she got in one of her moods, I locked myself in my bedroom.
My Mom was apalled at my aproach....she could have done this, or that....
My response was: A. She's banging at my bedroom door, so I KNOW where she's at!
B. She's BREATHING, because she's screaming at me!
When she calmed down enough to talk through the door.
I told her I don't want to play with her because of the way she's treating me; and others wouldn't put up with it either.
She thought about it, and said Aunt K will you come out and play with me?
Pfft! Of course! I love my niece!
She was much more respectful to me afterwards. I never had to threaten 'time out' again, because she took responsibility for the way she acted (then again, she's really smart).
She knew bad behavior wasn't going to get her anywhere.
Think about it.
When you reward bad behavior....
They focus more on themselves rather than the 'Big' picture.
I could go on, but I'll stop here.
Set boundaries. Stay in control by not caving in to her antics. Everytime you do, she bridges this information as a positive result. The behavior will continue. The hardest thing in the world for a parent is to remain strong in the midst of a tantrum. The child knows after the first or second episode that their demands can be met, "It's just a matter of time."
Stick to your guns.
You may want to seek counsel. She maybe acting out due to another reason..
Try your best to ignore her naughty behaviour and stick with it! I have twin 4 yr olds and boy can they be naughty! I begged, pleaded, cried.........lol and got nothing except red eyes! Then i watched a program with nanny frost and i did what she suggested and although the boys are loud still they understand when I get tough!
I would have her see her pediatrician and get some suggestions from him/her. As a mother and grandmother that is what I would do.
She reads you like a book. All small people know ways to get their way. Since she is fine with others, it is likely the problem is you. Discipline, now known as "setting boundaries," is your job. Do your job. By the way, what is someone so young doing with any children, much less multiple kids?
My daughter went through that phase as well of being clingy and out of control, mainly because I worked and was gone 8 hours a day she wanted my full blown attention when I got home. When she was at daycare she was a delight, I'm not sure why that is when mommy's around she goes a little haywire but I've been told that she is seeking my attention whether it be negative or positive.