Explain the reasons why women love men who are emotionally and verbally abusive to them?

I was in an abusive relationship with a woman for 5 years. Men are the majority here, but women can manipulate all the same. The vast amount of verbal abuse emasculated me over the years. I ended it when she started to get physical. I took a soup can to the side of the head and finally had enough. I liked the nice her, which I was fed in small doses to ensure my stay. I'm glad it's over and I'm regaining my self worth little by little, all thanks to my new gem of a woman who values me greatly!

There are probably a variety of reasons. I can think of 2 off the top of my head but i am sure there are others who can add more.

1) If a woman has a very low view of herself and she has been lead to think she is unworthy of being loved then she will continue in a relationship with an abusing man thinking she deserves or could never expect to be treated better than she is. She will seek to reason away all the abuse and blame herself for all the suffering the man subjects her to.

2) Some woman feel the need to take a faulty man and transform him into a better man by her efforts. They beleve that if they try hard enough and perservere long enough the the faulty man will eventualy come around to being the kind of partner she wants. Pride is one of the factors that keeps a woman like this in a toxic relationship, because she cannot bear to accept failure in her relationship and the expectant feelings of failure that would come with a break up.

Tamarite is right. A lot of reasons to which I can share 2 possibilities:

1. Similar to what Alexz says, the lady has been abused as a child to which she finds home/security in it. Subconsciously, she tries to replay that security over the years and becomes attracted to the first jerk who will do the same to her. She might even feel uncomfortable to a good man who treats her right because that will be far from her "comfort zone".

2. She has lived in shame and guilt (probably because of a mistake in the past) so she feels that she deserves to be treated in that way. As the movie Perks of being a Wild Flower says, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

But these reasons may not hold true to everyone. People who turn to abuse must be treated sensitively. We all know they deserve more. The least that we can do is to let them know their worth.

It's NOT love arty, it's dependence & delusion. And you can find that weakness in men too.

When I fell in love with him he did not show that side of himself. As red flags started popping up, I ignored them, because I loved him When the abuse became more frequent, I made excuses for him, because I loved him. Now in my shame I realize that I should have loved myself.

In high school, I was in a verbally abusive relationship. Everything was great for the first month. He was the funniest, most interesting guy I'd ever dated. Then he started to change. He'd point out girls when we were out together and tell me what he wanted to do to them sexually. He would call me drunk, tell me he just had sex with a random chick, then laugh and say he was joking. When he wanted something from me he would be charming and sweet, but it never lasted. He used me, put me down, made me feel worthless and I still wanted to be with him desperately. I was sure that deep down there was a good person in there. It took me four years to open my eyes, and damn it felt good when I finally stood up to him and got a little revenge.

Hey, masochism. Good answer. I was also going to add that sometimes they think it's what they deserve, that they don't deserve better.