We are each all alone, all the time. Sometimes other people are close by, sometimes they are further away. But it doesn't make us any less alone in our heads. We certainly all go to sleep alone with our eyes closed in our beds; I think we are awake alone as well, unable to share with anyone what is really going on inside our head. Plus, I'm a guy, so never much of a voluntary VD celebrant.
I am so sorry for your loss :(. It's been since May 2006 for me and I still have problems with the Holidays.