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I'm just trying to figure out what made them decide to become loners. Maybe they enjoy their own company or they have been betrayed by their loved ones. The main reason for me asking this is because I want to know if your environment shapes your personality. What were your parents like while you were growing up? Caring? Distant? Abusive? Etc. (Btw, I'm a loner as well.) I don't have much of a relationship with my family, so I wanted to know if it's the same for others
22630brown 22630brown 16-17 9 Answers Dec 18, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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i was happy before i lost my parents. i used to be very poor growing up with them but they were very good parents until they splitup. then my Mom got addcited to drugs and things got bad. she left me alone for so long for weeks while she was gone getting high. people at school would laff at me cause i wore the same clothes several days in a row. after they took me away from her and put me in foster care i had to endure many abusive people in many many different homes and a few shelters too. years of abuse environment really do shape who you are. i became abusive to myself, starving, cutting, burning, anything just to feel something. now that im in a good home many states away from where i grew up i still strangely have to endure harsh people at school. i dont trust anyone because i know what they are capable of. i am always alone, at times i like the quite, need it. but most times i just want somebody to love me and i want to be normal again. depression, anxiety, sleep and eating problems are all a result of my past environment. so yes your environment does shape you. it can take a happy energetic extroverted boy and turn him into an ugly, introverted, depressed, outcast that cant handle normal social situations w/o getting anxiety attacks. yes it did shape who i am now.

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Aww. (((HUGS)))

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Definitely. I would be a completely different person had I grown up in a different environment.

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My ex-wife did.

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I hate being alone yet people would prob call me a loner- i had a wonderful family they died when i was young and I have very high standards for friends- if people fall short then I don't keep them in my life cuz to me it's a waste of time. I expect friends to be as good of a friend to me as i am to them and sadly i haven't found anyone like that yet.

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That sounds exactly like me, cause I only accept people who I approve of and find worth in spending time with. Haven't found mine yet either...

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My dad was extremely abusive...I comforted myself by binge eating, which got me ostracized at school.<br />
I'm naturally extroverted, but ended up being shy.

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It sounds like you've had it rough. It's too bad abusive parents are freely allowed to have kids

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I like people well enough, I've not had any problems other than bullying when I was a child, but who doesn't right? My family is also probably the "ideal" of a family. So yeah.<br />
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I just get tired around people easily, it's a strain on me to interact with people, it's not difficult, but I'm a chatty/hyper person and it just wears you out after a while, I mean hanging out with my friends is all kinds of fun, but there's no rest time for my poor hyper soul so I end up exhausted by the time I get home.<br />
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Also I like a lot of solo activities so being around people isn't always the best idea when I want to read, draw, do art stuff, write. Because they either get offended by my not paying attention or they distract me and won't allow me to do what I want.<br />
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I'm a loner by choice and sometimes I like to not be a loner and hang out with friends who understand this and don't mind my disappearing off the face of the earth for a few days, but most of the time you can see me alone and that's fine with me.

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Well it's clear that you're an introvert. It's perfectly normal because there are plenty of people like us. We just don't realize it

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well environment shapes everyone and everything . . . I am a loner yes . . . my folks wished they never had kids . . . some people never should . . . so maybe that IS why I am the way I am . . . I have schizotypal personality disorder . . . an aversion to people . . . either I was born with it or it settled in during my first few years of life . . . it's an interesting question . . .

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I'm aware of the schizotypal personality disorder. I thought I had it recently because of the fact that I have absolutely no sense of longing for a relationship of any kind. I found that kind of strange...

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that's not schizotypal . . . we really want relationships and feel very badly we cannot form them . . . but for whatever reason . . . we can't function normally around people . . . I take Abilify now . . . makes me normal . . . and I thank god for it . . . before this med you would never see me on a puplic web site . . . what you are describing is schizoid personality disorder . . . it's when you have a lack of interest in forming relationships . . .

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Very much so. 10 years ago I wasn't a loner. Living in this town has changed me immensley.

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Same here. I was the polar opposite to what I am now 10 years ago

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Of course it does. You shy away from mankind when enough people lash out at you. I don't feel comfortable in crouds. I don't like people in general let alone my own family. <br />
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But I'm a self abuser. If I want to hurt someone it's either to people who hurt me or myself. I don't like passing on the hurt and hate to innocents.

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Yes, I can understand what you're saying. For me though, I'm more of a loner because I tend to not care about others and only care about myself. That made me realize that I grew up this way because of the lack of affection I've gotten from my parents throughout my childhood...

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I was the same way. I don't care what people say or think about me but when enough people treat me like **** for no reason it began slowly getting to me. It took about 6 years to manifest before I finally gave up and just broke down. I thyink it all boils down to ones intentions. I've been hurt so much so I don't want to hurt innocents. I'd want to go gun down child predators or convicted murderers rapists. But not random innocent people.

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