You ‘fast forwarded’ seven months without contact. In that time you had the opportunity to speak your mind. You haven’t forgotten what’s happened, I’m wondering why you didn’t bring this out in the open during that time? You could have had words with her soon after the event, but you chose not to do, but you could have done this in a moderate fashion; if she had *anything* to say or to hide, they would have come out had you spoken with her about it. Seven months on with no contact …<br />
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Whatever happened seems to now be on the back-boiler, for her … that is. She hasn’t contacted you, you haven’t contacted her and because you are the first one to make contact she is taking the offensive; she is making it out that because you haven’t contacted her for so long, then it must be your fault … that is how she is putting this over.<br />
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I think you should have dealt with the issue and given *her* the opportunity to either explain or explode out of defence. Seven months down the line, this could all turn into something it never was back then, in that because there has been this gap, it could entail other issues being brought into the equation.<br />
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I’d say leave her to it because of how things stand at the moment. Leave it to her to be the one to make contact with you and take things from there. But I still think you should have addressed the problem seven months back; you would either both still be good friends or (maybe) you might not, but you would have known why. To approach the issue now could find her blaming you for not contacting her as much as you could blame her. It’s so easy for her to now turn this into a ‘this-and-that’ situation to lessen whatever did happen seven months back.<br />
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~F~

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Thank you knight. The reason I didn't confront her in the first place was because I was so angry. I can't control my temper and I know it would have gotten out of hand and I would have said something I may have regretted.

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And I fully understand that. I think we are *who* we are; you not wanting to confront is not a bad thing. Hindsight is a good thing, but hindsight doesn't mean we would do things differently *if* it isn't against our considered and personal feelings and nature I'm sorry this turned out like it did for you and hope there might be a way where you can both bring something back out of this. (hugs)

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lifes 2 short and she knows what she did, let it go, she doesnt sound worth the effort and if she thought anything of your friendship she would have contacted you months ago. lol but then again if you feel the need to give her a piece of your mind then LET LOSE! she deserves it.

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LOL, thanks rage. :o)

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i would be civil to her if you should meet or talk to her but if she has lied about your Mum perhaps she isnt realy the friend you thought she was perhaps its time to move on love x

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Thanks Paul.

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You could either tell her calmly your side, but definitely not on Facebook, or just let it go. It's really tempting to have a go at someone who's been acting like her, but its not worth you getting any more upset over than you already are :-)<br />
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Me? I'd ignore her cause I don't need friends who are liars and s#it stirrers.

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Yes, thank you Gem. I suppose after 18 years, a part of me wants to hang onto a fond memory really, because there isn't much of this friendship left.

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You both blew it when you didn't fully discuss your issues with her lies up front and then allowed the fallout to create a separation. Expecting her to suddenly have a change of heart about your relationship just because you feel its time is expecting a bit much. You still need to go over all those issues that caused the rift. <br />
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Fly off the handle, but give her the opportunity to do the same. You both need to make the other feel comfortable with confrontation. True friends will battle through problems, not simply sweep them under the carpet.

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Thanks dorian. I suppose from my end, it was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. It's not the first time we've had a fall out over something she's done. We are completely different people now, but it's like she still expects me to be the old me. (I have a daughter now, she's still single).

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Ahhh... makes sense. It sounds like you may be growing apart naturally. My wife has a BFF that lives in Long Island (we are on the opposite coast). They get together once a year for a couple of weeks. The first day is spent going over the good old days, then two or three days are spent arguing with each other because they are so different (other lady is still single, living in her parents house to take care of an ailing widower father). After they get through the fallout phase they get all lovey-dovey again and spend the rest of the time partying until they have a tearful separation for another year. the only reason their relationship works is because of the long-distance. Its tough to recognize and accept when best friends have grown apart.

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Nicely reply that everyone deserves to be wished well on their birthday. Leave it at that.

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Thank you.

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shame the friendship as come to a end ,,,,, painful......<br />
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love the lipstick art ...

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Are you absolutely sure? What if she IS innocent and the one telling lies was the one who told you what she did? I would copy your question and send it to her and ask her if there is need for more communication or does this answer her question? If this friendship IS a friendship, it will weather this too, if it is NOT a friendship, now you'll know.

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