For those of you that have been cheated on...how did it make you feel?

i still feel like sh*t. we've been together for 3yrs now. he cheated the whole first year with non other then his ex-wife. i thought if i kept loving him he would see i was the better one for him. it's been 2yrs that he hasn't cheated on me, but my mind still thinks he cheating. like when he is late coming in from work, gets off the phone real fast and things like that. it's hard to trust him as a human being. it hurt to the core of my being that he treated me like sh*t and think i should just snap out of and trust him. i can't!!! that year i tried to commit suicide. that is just how bad it got. i'm not some teenager, i'm 37 yrs old. he f*cked with my heart so bad I couldn't take it anymore. he was & still is the love of my life. trusting him is going to take time. how much time is unknown. please share your story with me. mine was painful even brought tears to my eyes. i just want to know i'm not the only one out here suffering.
hugs ((( ))) sorry for any type o's

Posted 9 months ago

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unicorn59

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In order to heal from this....you have to forgive him, and he has to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to regain your trust....If those things do not happen, your relationship is doomed.

If he expects you to "just get over it, and trust him"...he's just not being realistic...our brains do not work like that....and neither does our heart...

The way you feel is very normal, and valid....you are not the only one experiencing this.

My husband was an internet cheater...and a couple of times, he actually traveled to meet one of the women he got to know online....It hurts like nothing else can...it's very personal....it's the worst type of betrayal a woman can experience...

I started to distance myself.....to protect myself from being hurt again....he did it about 4 or 5 times, that I khow about.....I kept trying to work it out...he'd sound all sincere and ask for another chance....and like a fool, I gave him too many....he expected that once he said sorry, I should move on.....If only it were that easy....

You need to decide if you can forgive....but don't even think you will ever forget it....it's just not possible....there will always be something that will come up and remind you....and bring those hurt feelings to the surface...it's only natural....your heart has been traumatized....

If it's not in him, to work hard everyday, to make it up to you, and earn back your trust, you should just cut your losses....even if you still love him, because love without trust, isn't going to work......God Bless....I wish you the best.

Posted 9 months ago

Other 7 Answers to For those of you that have been cheated on...how did it make you feel?

vander1	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 1:43AM It made me feel like everything I had with that person was a lie. Rated: +5Vote for this!
pens8913	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 1:06AM It made me feel like i wasn't worth him. like a part of me wasn't good enough so he had to go find another woman. What made it even worse was that he was telling me that he loved me the entire time that he was cheating so i felt like even worse. Rated: +3Vote for this!
jesynta	Posted Mar 2nd, 2009 at 2:49AM Completely shocked. They say that you always know deep down when your partner is cheating - not so. I had no idea at all, not even a suspicion, and had someone told me my ex would cheat I would have laughed and said, never him. After that, the whole gamut of typical grief reaction - anger, depression, bargaining.....I forgave the first time. Call me naive but I truly thought he wouldn't do it again [just like he would never do it the first time, lol]. The second time I forgave - for the sake of our child. The third time I came to my senses - he said he didn't really cheat, just spent time naked and cuddling a thai woman in bangkok. [She's now his wife]. Mind you, the whole time he cheated he still kept telling me he loved me, and I do believe he meant it in a way. He has already cheated on his new wife. What I learnt - never trust a cheater. Dr Phil says 'the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour' and it is SO true, if they can do it once, they can do it again. The last emotion I had was relief, thankful that it was all over, I finally accepted that I deserved WAY better than than him. Don't waste your time on a cheater, they will hurt you too much. Rated: +3Vote for this!
IndyJoe	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 3:23AM I dont really want to go there again...it took a hard long time to get where I am now. I am very happily married again to a really wonderful woman and human being. I no longer hurt, I hardly ever think about it....but I have not forgotten it and I still cannot look at her with any sense of respect (regardless of how she may have "changed" over the years). The scars are still there and they are still somewhat sensitive at times....I dont think that will ever go away until I draw my last breath. Rated: +2Vote for this!
xoxo17	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 3:24AM i felt used. like i was just another piece of *** in his eyes. for a long time i tried to convince myself that he would leave all of them for me. but he didn't. he never seemed to want to committ himself wholeheartedly to me until i was ready to walk out. and even when i threatened, he would only be mine alone for a while. i felt betrayed. being cheated on made me scared to trust any man for a long time. after i finally got out of that relationship, i couldn't bring myself to fall for anyone again for a long time because i was afraid that i would be played by them too. so i lost my trust in pretty much everyone. sometimes i think i lost it even in myself. because i couldnt' seem to trust myself to pick a good guy and be happy. i guess the best way to sum it up though is this:: i felt worthless. like i wasn't worth anything to anyone. Rated: +2Vote for this!
COOLPENGUIN	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 3:26AM Like I got punched in the stomach. That is the worst feeling that I have ever had. He hid it from me for a year. That scum slept in my bed, next to me for a year while all along he had cheated and lied to my face. I left him as soon as I found out and I will never forgive him for that. Cheaters are so selfish. I think there should be a punishment for cheating and lieing. Death would be suitable. Rated: +2Vote for this!
DarkangelTherian	Posted Feb 25th, 2009 at 3:27AM It rips your innocence apart if you had any to begin with, it undermines your faith and your confidence and above all - it severely can water down your future love for the next person. Rated: +2Vote for this!

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