LMAO! I have tried ...there is always an excuse. He's too tired, too busy..etc etc. etc. I tried to get him to pick out a pretty nightie with me, and he said he didn't care..they all looked the same..okay. I got tired of trying and was trying to not cry in the middle of Dillards. I finally had to walk off with tears in my eyes. That was last December. I won't do it again.
Several years ago, I had bought one and all he wondered was, where I had got it, when, how much it cost. By the time he got done, I felt like a cheap hooker. I took it off and never wore it again.
I am attractive..then and now.
Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
In all these years, he never once bought me a pretty nightie or anything sexy. I did get lots of corning ware, however.
This happened to me on three occasions before I trashed the sexy lingerie and moved out of his bedroom. It was always the same response. "Oh, that looks nice. Let me get a drink first." Half a bottle of Jack later and he's passed out on the couch and I'm ignored. In other words, no different response from any of the myriad others advances attempted. (And like a previous answer here from someone stuck with a refuser - I was insanely "hot" in my younger days. Even now not too shabby.)
So, no - it's not you, it's them.
Oh, it's SO NOT YOU!!! I thought it was me for years, until my friend told me I sound just like my husband's ex wife. This totally sucks though, because (and not to flatter myself) I am a VERY beautiful young woman. I'm tall, in awesome shape, blonde, and beautiful. I am told this quite often. That is nice and all, but it sucks to be a sexy, young, intelligent woman and I can't get any "action". That is, as long as I insist in remaining faithful. It's absurd - he's saying to me "if we are to have a relationship, I expect to be involved in all sexual contact you will have for the rest of your life. That said, we will have that sexual contact almost never (once or twice a year). Beyond selfish and self-centered.
Before we got married, he was pleasantly surprised. Now, it'd be awkward.
During his Refuser days he would have walked by, smacked me on the *** or something, told me I look hot and kissed me and then say something like "I'm so exhausted today.. I feel like crap.. I have a terrible headache." So that, yanno.. I knew nothing was gonna happen.
That concept was totally foreign to me. I would have only dreamed of that much passion for about 10 years of our marriage.
I get: "You look nice, are you making coffee babe?" That's it... Then I actually have to ask for a welcome home kiss...
My husband simply says "why are you wearing that?" We only have sex if he initiates it. If I try I get turned down. Usually with a get off me or don't you know I have to get up early...
I would not waste my time... I put my sexy everything for person who appreciate it...