Resolved Question

What motivates you to live in a system we don't believe in?

How have you gone your way from when you had your eyes opened until now, how you manage to keep your own thoughts shut from time to time so you don't go mad? how have you managed to keep yourself alive all this time...?

I feel like i've been awake for a year or so and i'm already feeling tired... i need to find the secret.

I feel like I was somehow predisposed to question. When I was a young child, I stumped my mother with questions regarding our religion. Her answers were never satisfactory and I was amazed that she was satisfied with them. There was never logic in faith for me.

I started to really wake up in my early twenties when I started researching all of my hunches. It's a slow process, waking up doesn't happen suddenly. And the more I discover, the more it feels like a burden. A ball and chain. Sometimes I wish I could go back to sleep. Happily, I have insomnia of the soul.

Now, in my early thirties, I have figured out a few thoughts that keep me from madness, such as realizing my place in history and how lucky I am to be here. In the past, people were executed for having my thoughts. I have to play my role and do my part in spreading this awareness.

I am able to live in this system because I have no choice, really. There is no alternative. Especially if I want to remain in the presence of my family, who are all in a collectively reinforced Cult of the Comatose.

I still become weary from time to time. Having an outlet is key, be it art or writing. I