I know it's a cliche, but try reading 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus'. If you have a relationship worth saving most of the answers to your question are in there. Women have different needs from men. The main differences are that men want solutions and women want reasurance. This can cause the sexes to clash. If a man offers a solution, a woman will read it as the man is telling her what to do and that the man does not care about her feelings. Sometimes as a man you just need to be there to listen to and comfort your loved one. A good method to use is to mirror the words of your loved one. For example, she says 'I'm fed up of this mess, I'm so exhausted' (The man naturally thinks he is being blamed so usually retaliates) What she wants to hear is 'Yes, it is a bit messy, but you're exhausted. Why don't you have a little rest now and I'll help you tidy up when you are feeling better'' The other thing about women is that, according to this book, they have natural waves of emotion and the secret is to just let them go through them and not to feel it is your fault they feel like this. These emotions belong your partner not to you. There are many other really good tips and explainations to lengthy to write here. I'm not a good example of a woman, having Aspergers and not being right brain dominant, so it is difficult for me to give intuitive advice. I found that some of the 'male side' applied more to me, but it was still helpful in understanding both men and women generally.
Not every woman wants the same thing. I don't know why people think that every single woman is a carbon copy of every other one's personality and desires and are so upset when they learn that they aren't. It's not exactly a secret.
I can not tell you what women want because it's different for every woman. I want someone who is smart, funny, and kind. Another woman might want a man who is protective and good looking. Still another might want a man who is dominating and doesn't have a brain in his head. We're not identical. Thinking that all women are or should be the same is probably a big part of why you're having a problem in the first place. Stop thinking of women as some sort of alien creature with a hive mind and start looking at each as an individual human being and you'll no doubt start having less relationship problems.
Figuring out a womans mind is impossible for the average guy.
Give up now before you get a headache.