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i have these 2 (to use the term loosely) friends, they were my best friends for years and last year we were inseparable, but after my rape i withdrew a little because I didn't like the thought of going out drinking every night, and the fact they would interact with him if they ever saw him, I was tempted to tell them what happened but as the months have gone on I've noticed how totally two faced and immature they are..t made me wonder was i ever like that? I just can not stand to talk to them sometimes, I miss how we were and when we do hang out its such a laugh but they constantly ***** about someone who was our best friend and then go out on nights out posting pictures constantly talking to her, how two faced! I've realized how they are actually so snide and such nasty people, i talk to them but not as much anymore as I'm struggling, i want to walk away from the negativity, but they'll name me as a massive *****, and i don't want to be alone, any advice?
gunsnrose gunsnrose 18-21, F 11 Answers Feb 21, 2013 in Parenting & Family

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People mature or grow at different rates. Look for new hobbies to broaden your likes. You will find new friends there.

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Walk away. You'll make better friends with people more deserving of your company.<br />
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I'm sorry about what happened to you. I hope you've been able to talk to someone about it.

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Some people are like that, they don't know how to take a stand. They'll say they don't like them, but will still hang out with them and act like nothing happened when they see them. It is as you say, two faced, which is extremely annoying. Makes us feel if they are doing the same to us. Talking to people like that never usually solves anything. You should just find new friends or a new hobby or use the time to explore yourself.

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thankyou I agree, I need to be around people I trust after what happened

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Always remember, life is too short to spend it with two-faced people. Sometimes being lonely is a lot better than having to smile at the people who don't deserve it.

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Well you can keep them but spend your time away from them looking for new friends. People who are more like the people you would want as friends. <br />
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Generally if you put little effort into ones friends eventually they will fade away without much contraversy. You can avoide being the ***** by taking this approach instead of making a big scene and cutting them off in one night.<br />
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I guess it is up to you how you go about things.

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This I am sorry to say falls under growing pains. I know that is old school but it is a part of being young. You will learn and are learning now that drinking buddies are much different than friends that are there for you. Some people say drinking friends are not friends at all but just people who you enjoy drinking with but do not really like sober.

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Keep the door open, but also keep your own counsel. Sometimes friendships change and it looks like this is one of those times when you need to be open to different friends. Don't worry about them; they have each other.

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i think that's what the issue is, they're each others best friends and I'm their best mate so its as if they don't care if they lose people because they'll always have each other

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It's painfully difficult when you're in this position with your friends and I know that well, maybe just for me but maybe you want them to understand what they are being like ! and maybe you wish that they could see their actions from your point of view. However, judging by your incredibly strong story, you seem to be worth more than the 2 put together. You seem like such a strong spirit and you don't need them in your life at all !! New friends is the way to go buddy :)

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thankyou

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