There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."<br />
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird poops on his head, and he yells "$h!t!"
A man went to Hell after death, and a devil said he could choose among three rooms where he would be placed. The first room had people being burned at stakes. The second room had people being whipped unmercifully. The third room had people standing up to their necks in "shi" (Chinese for "manure"). He said he chose the third room. In a few minutes, a devil announced, "Break time is now over, so resume your positions sitting on the floor.