Sometimes berating and lecturing is the only way people can deal with their fears. Especially when its someone you love as much as a child. You will probably have a better relationship after you leave home. Until then please remember no matter what he lectures about you can only worry about what you can change. Don't let crazy parents get you down, now I miss my Dad's lectures, who would have thought?

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I moved out left the country and then the continent. I have had lots of therapy and finally I like who I am. You are a grown woman. and I would say that your father has some control issues.

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parents have the best intentions, but unfortunately they don't know shi*. Thats harsh but my dad is exactly the same. Its the people that are close to you that hurt you the most. My advice, you need to tell him exactly how you feel. It will be hard and you will be nervous at first, but when you get going you will be more relaxed with it. I garantee it. Tell him exactly what you told us. How he makes you feel negative. Tell him his lectures are making you feel worse. If he says the lectures are good and that you are sensitive, ask him. "how can you expect me to be better when its these lectures that are making me worse..... you want me to be better, change how you give me advice. Your talks are killing my self confidence. Do you want that for me?" <br />
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I know that will be hard to say , so say it with respect. If he comes back with some line then say, look dad, i can't live this life if your good intention talks are going to defeat me. You want to help me? understand me first.

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Ive tried to approach him, I was rewarded with a lecture of how my life is lacking

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listen this is it russian. If you want control of your life, you need to blow up a bit on him. U dont have to scream, u just have to have your say be heard. Just approaching him and then having him give you a lecture isn't good enough. Have yourself be heard!!!!!!

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Maybe his lectures have nothing to do with you, and more about what HE is worried about.

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