Give me a dark humor joke please?

Posted 4 months ago

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Shoreboy

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

A doctor calls his patient into his office and says "Thanks for coming in so quickly as I have good news and bad news". Patient says 'Well, doc what's the good news?'. Doctor says "the results of your tests come back and they said you only have one day to live". Patient says "That's horrible doc if that's the good news what the hell is the bad news". Doctor says "the bad news is the tests came back yesterday, but it was my day off".

Here's another that's a 'visual joke' printed on a bumper sticker, t-shirt, etc.
"Give me your phone number and I'll stop following you"

or another:
How are a necrophiliac and an alcoholic the same - They both have an undeniable urge to crack open a case and suck on a cold one.

Posted 4 months ago

Other 12 Answers to Give me a dark humor joke please?

whowasthatmaskedm an	Posted Jul 6th, 2009 at 6:45AM A baby fur seal walks into a club............. Rated: +6Vote for this!
Comprehensive2	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:06PM Why does the doctor order water to be boiled when a baby is being born? So if it dies they can make soup Rated: +6Vote for this!
xyz12	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:05PM what happens when you microwave a baby? i dont know i was too busy master bating. what is two feet tall and cant turn around in a hallway? a baby with a javelin through its neck. what is the difference between jesus and a portrait? A portrait only needs one nail Rated: +3Vote for this!
freeed	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:05PM Three drunks stagger down the street. The first two walk into a bar. The third one ducks. Rated: +3Vote for this!
IAmStillSomeone	Posted Jul 6th, 2009 at 6:45AM Ok, MJ fans...I am JUST passing this along. Farrah Fawcett died and went to Heaven. God wanted to reward her for a good life and asked what she wanted the most. Farrah said that she didn't want children to ever suffer again. God agreed and killed Michael Jackson. Rated: +3Vote for this!
EndlessMeghan	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:05PM Stolen from The Crow: Jesus walks into an Inn, hands the Inn-keeper three nails and says "Could you put me up for the night?". -Endless Rated: +2Vote for this!
TrgdyAnn	Posted Jul 4th, 2009 at 8:56PM What's the funniest thing you've seen happen to a 'Racist'? 'Obama' becoming President! Hell-arious! Rated: +2Vote for this!
humptydumpty85	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 11:33PM sorry 2 the m.j fans....but some1 just sent me a msg that said....the goverment is going to melt down his body,and make plastic toys out of it,so that the children can play with him for a change..... Rated: +2Vote for this!
pukirahe	Posted Jul 4th, 2009 at 10:35PM The elder sister of Laotse said: - You are a lousy philosopher. He replied: - Even if you called me a cow, I would not become a cow. I am always Laotse. Rated: +1Vote for this!
rayc3776	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 1:15AM Would you sedate a cat for traveling? Well, they are fresh meat. Rated: +1Vote for this!
kowen	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 1:50AM What's green and yellow,and hangs from trees??, (A) Gorilla snot. Rated: +1Vote for this!
WriterReachingOut	Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 2:17AM What's the difference between a blue prius and a pile of dead babies? A) I don't have a blue prius in my garage. Sorry... it's the first thing that pops to mind. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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