The most important "good news" is that "Jesus Saves!" Bad news, you'll have to wait and die first to see Him up-close and personal!! lol

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A guy is in the hospital with two broken legs. The nurse comes in and tells him that there's good news and bad news.<br />
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The guy asks for the bad news first.<br />
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The nurse says, "We're going to have to remove your legs."<br />
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Then the guy asks for the good news.<br />
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The nurse says, "The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers."

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good news.........i took my second shift off.........bad news........my heads of the choppin block come Monday...........see if i can tap dance my way outta this one?!.........yee haw!

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They told me if I came in late one more time I'd be fired. I can't take that chance so I'm skipping work!

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you rock!

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The good news is... It's not a tumor! The bad news is... it's growing eyes and teeth.

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what is?

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Exactly.

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ur scaring me now...lol

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The good news is I don't have any bad news. The bad news is that I don't have any news.

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BAD news ... there is a planned alien invasion ... GOOD news ... it's fake

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The good news is...I have a vibrator....the bad news is...My batteries are dead.

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The good news.<br />
I'm not crazy yet.<br />
The bad news.<br />
If I were crazy, I probably wouldn't know it.<br />
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These could be reversed, depending on how you regard the state of being "crazy".

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I got lucky [for a change] and on my last two stock trades made nice gains, SOLD, then watched the price go back down. Usually I buy and it just goes down. LOL

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