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Nishitaa Nishitaa 22-25, F 4 Answers Aug 6, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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It really depends on the man and the situation the man is in that you think would need space. If you feel this way, there's probably something he's doing that says "get away from me" or "I need to be alone" but frankly it's something that women do more than men.

A woman wants to have a guy do something out of telepathy rather than simply asking him for it... It's perplexing to say the least...

in turn, they work the same way in reverse. They do what they think he wants rather than asking him what he wants.



This is a great recipe for error. Since nobody is truly clairvoyant and 6th sense, 2nd language never really tells us EVERYTHING...



Communication... that's why it's brought up so often. Never be someone who says "Well if I knew that I would have"



Frankly I am not surprised you would ask the net ambiguously before you'd simply ask your man.....



It says something about your comfort level with him... this is a sign that there's "something" between the two of you that shouldn't be there... tention, stress, guilt, who knows but it's there.



I want my woman to say what's on her mind, what she wants, and how I am f'ing up. communicate w me in other words...



I grew up with women complaining to me about their men (I as their friend) how they don't open up aren't sensitive enough etc.. and when they have a guy like that..



I don't know... I guess that's why I said initially it depends on the man... We are similar but not always the same...



maybe he is uncomfortable with discussions or "us" conversations etc...



Best advice, take this question you posted and email it to him...

(not the thread just the question itself)



Sometimes we want space, and... sometimes space will just make us worse off...

"I need her"

you give space

"great, just when I needed her, she's distant :("



you get the point...

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yeah i do...and actually iam afraid of bringing it up with him coz 90% of the times when i do bring it up, i guess i do it in a complaining fashion n convey my hurt implicitely that "you dont want to be with me" which is followed by a lot of explaining on his part that thats not the case or exasperation at other times

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Yeah I completely feel you on that one. What's really sad, depressing, I don't know what... is that when you look at any romantic situation the two people almost 90% of the time are generally good people and mean the best towards each other. I posted something I will paste here in a second. It's a really good way to "translate" the two different languages you each speak so there's no loss in translation.
It's a way of communicating without removing the romantic element or getting too "roommate" about things in your relationship.

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I would say show him love and support and give him only what he says explicitly, from my experience women tend to guess wrong what a man wants.

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hmmm yeah you are right...but i feel that he doesnt say it from the fear of hurting my feelings that i will take it personally. for instance today while talking over the ph he asked if its ok if we talk a little less coz his right ear has been paining a lot, which i was aware of since i saw him struggling with the pain in college..but even when he asked me he asked me this as well that if i wont take it personally, so i feel probably he has to make excuses to get space

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Yes, maybe he doesn't want you to take it wrong and feel hurt. Well, I recommend just asking him what he wants, try to let him know that you are fine with whatever he says, but really be fine or he will feel burned and not want to be open again.

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yeah you are soo right but i will be honest with you since you are a guy, and probably u can help me out, honestly i find it very hard to digest that my guy should need any space other than what iam already giving..and yes i do feel very hurt when i give space coz i feel that as if he doesnt need me, n yes i know the truth is he doesnt need me at THAT moment, but to me that feels like he doesnt need me at all, not now, not ever, so i start resenting him a lot, while doing 'favors' by giving space..my point is when i love him so much why does he need space from me at all? i know its lame, but plz try and throw light on this through a guy's perspective,how they think?

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I am not a normal guy, so my advice tends to be more black and white, I am not so good in the gray areas. Personally I like my women 'clingly' and to dote on me, especially when I don't feel well but average men don't like it for some reason which I honestly don't understand. One thing though, whatever it is that I want from a woman, it definitely is not attitude or emotional blackmail of any form, I tend to become cold as ice if I feel that a woman is trying to make me feel anxiety, fear or hurt to get her way. I get real stern and if she continues making me miserable she is risking being dumped.

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How profound.

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How much space? Define ..thanks

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like for instance i have busied myself with work n internship for the next 1 yr though he has his internship only for 1 month, so that we meet for only 2-3 hrs everyday but those are hrs are well spent...and like today his right ear was aching real bad, he has had pain in his ears in the past too so he mentioned if its ok with me if we talk a little less over phone or maybe in segments, so i agreed

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that's not bad. That seems right..space to some people could mean months..I don't know. Its different when ur not married..my spouse and I give space..

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how do you give each other space and for how long?

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well, he has things he likes to do..he does it. And I have things I may want to do..i do it. We aren't hovering over eachother..

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