A woman places an ad in the paper seeking a man who will not;
1. Beat her
2. Won't run out on her
3. Is a great lover
Two days later her doorbell rings. She answers the door and a quadriplegic is siting on her porch.
She says: Hello, may I help you?
He replies: I read your ad. I have no arms to beat you, no legs to run out on you...
She ask: How do I know that your good in bed?
He replies: How do think I rang the door bell?
What does a blonde say after sex? All you guys on the same team?
Why did the blond go on the roof? She heard drinks were on the house.
How do you drown a blonde? Place a scratch & sniff on the bottom of the pool :~)
This old guy is at the doctors office and says" Doctor, I have started to just have terrible silent gassers. I had one in Church, I had one coming here, I even just had one talking to you, what should I do?"
The doctor says, "First, get your hearing checked...."
What's the difference between an apple and an orange ?
I've never met an apple bastard.