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He's my best friend, and I want more. We have a complicated situation. He says I'm the first thing he thinks of every morning and the last thing at night. He doesn't want me to date others and has plainly stated (and I quote) 'I don't want anyone else to have you.' But when asked straight out about our situation, he says 'I don't know what I feel. I'm confused and it drives me crazy, so I don't let myself think about it.' What the heck does THAT mean? If he's trying to 'let me down easy', why does he care if I date others?
SoulPurging SoulPurging 31-35 31 Answers Aug 1, 2010

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It's a nice way of saying "I'm waiting for a better offer,'' OR he already has another person in the wings he has his eye on. But still wants to 'have' you here and there. No man who really loves you says that. I was in the same tortuous situation five years ago. Not only did my feelings get hurt, but my ego, my pride, and self respect. I was basically a high end hooker for him. He left me for someone else he felt no 'confusion' over.

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It always amazes me how often young women try so hard to figure out what the guy is really feeling and spend so little time trying to figure out what THEY are really feeling and thinking. It is a useless exercise to try and figure out what someone is thinking or feeling; that person is supposed to be the one who tells you, if you have a friendship or any kind of close relationship. You cannot ever figure out what someone is feeling if they don't specifically tell you. Everything else is just speculation or, even worse, worry.<br />
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Take some time to think about how YOU feel toward him. Then decide how YOU want to act toward him. Personally, I would find spending a lot of time trying to decipher what some guy thinks who isn't making himself clear a waste of time. Tell him he can contact you and let you know if he ever gets his feelings and thoughts straight. Meanwhile, take your life back.

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If he loved you, you would know. Sorry, i don't mean to be rude but he is asking you not to see anyone but he cannot give a definitive answer? I think you should move on and someone worthy of your love will come along. :)

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Some other people here said it but I'll just repeat it. He has his eyes on another girl. You're his second pick. He's trying to wait and see if he can get the other girl or if he's going to settle for you. One of the big reasons you're second might be because you gave yourself to him instead of playing hard to get like number one is, but I don't know the situation.

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ok... are the two of you having sex? If you are, then he's afraid of making a commitment to one person. If you're not having sex, what situation do you have with him now? I'm guessing he's afraid of being in a *committed* relationship, especially you because going the extra step , he feels it could take away that special friendship he has with you now. Going from being buddies that have sex, to something more could be more than he wants for now

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I am having that same issue myself.

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i am a guy, and all those things you said about this situation are not true. I'm confused about a relationship just starting right now. It's scary to think that this is how she will view me if i say i'm confused. <br />
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I worry about her, i don't want to be that bad guy to her reputation dumping her down the road. I want to be sure about this relationship, and i don't know how to be sure.<br />
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please help me before i screw this all up.

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Look honey the signs are clear he is just playing you and for the date other thing he probably wants options and men have to keep a huge ego keeps them strong..

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What does it mean when a gu says your not just another girl to me

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he cares that you date other cause he wants to keep his options open sadly to say but ik cause i did this before and know this karma is a b.i.t.c.h. because i pretty much got cheated on straight up after i did choose her cause she got bored....you could say serves you right but i hate cheating its why the divorce rate is so high....(giggles) sorry got off topic, but id say make him jealous, OR....do something that he has never seen before ik that if im trying to choose between 2 girls and one of them turns my head and shows me something i havent seen before or sparks my interest, that other girl is as good as history. Sadly enough thats society nowadays

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It means what you just try to saying he didn't understand you and so you not only didn't send your message across but you did a fine job confusing the hell out of him and created a misunderstanding possibly.

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Don't know, and i've wondered about that answer EVERY DAMN TIME A WOMAN, EVERY WOMAN I'VE EVER KNOWN, HAS SAID IT TO ME!!!<br />
We don't know what it means, so why ask us? As far as I know it means the same damn thing when you say it. tell us, and we'll tell you..

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he's not that into you. he complains if you date others because he wants to be the center of the universe. move on.

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He's afraid of losing the friendship if you meet someone else but there is curiosity there from him. He's excited about the possibilities but not completely convinced you're the one. If you meet someone else in his mind he has lost you for good and it may take him eternity to get another shot at it (not necessarily with you) but with someone like you. He may know you well enough to think 'ah yeah, what's to discover?" whereas in a new partner he has like a new toy with lots of colourful buttons to explore. Basically he's biding his time but wants it both ways. When he says he's thinking of you night and day I reckon he's thinking about his confusion night and day. My advice? stay friends and move on or pose an ultimatum to the same affect.<br />
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Latest thought. You know what? we so **** about with issues like this, this is not life or death, this is about games being played. Show him these answers and tell him to get real. Get real about yourself first and he will follow. You want a real answer? show him the reality of your feelings, right here, on this site and what other people think. Most are saying the same thing. Let him see what he cannot see.

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He's not just confused, he's wishy-washy, ego centric and more than a little out of touch with his own feelings. If he can't make a commitment to you (that's mutual) then IMO he has no right to ask or expect you not to date others. LonlyYisak is spot on w/her advice - for your own sake... move on...

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Don't chase him around. Just get to the point if you really want to give him a shot, but if he still hesitates I'd recommend forgetting about him. I don't know him, but my guess is he won't be a very loyal boyfriend if you do get in a relationship with him.

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He wants to keep you on the line, but doesn't want to make a commitment. You're better off to cut your losses and move on.

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Ask him what he's confused about.

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he's just not that into you kindly put

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Then why does he care if I date others? I don't get it.

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