Sorry about the loss of your furry family member. Losing someone close to you is never easy but you can get past it in time. You will not always feel pain; you will just remember what it was like to no longer have this pet with you. Different kind of feeling. <br />
Damaging your body does not bring your pet back. If your pet were alive today it would be very upset that you have done such harm to yourself. Take a deep breath, drink some water, get some sleep and then tomorrow eat something light. Try an apple (pectin) or having some mint tea. Both will soothe your stomach. Drink lots of water to rehydrate yourself. Go for a walk. Do constructive things. Eat healthy items (salad, soup, lean protein, fruit). Doing this will help you heal.
How can you be surprised when you have been so actively alcoholic for the last two weeks? <br />
We have talked before, and you know that I have grieved the deaths of my animals for years (each!), much longer than I have any human death. <br />
There is truly something special about the relationship between a human and his animals. I do not understand it, but I recognize it. You know damn good and well that your cat would be feaking out if she saw you freaking out and charging toward the abyss like this. <br />
If for no other reason than to know that your kitty could be watching in peace, you need to pull it together, stop the alcohol for a bit, take in some sun and air and exercise, and rejoin the living. <br />
Go do something to live. Do it now. Do it tomorrow and the next day after that. Yes, it may hurt, but life is our business here on the earth. Go.
I am truly sorry, and I have a seriously good idea of how you feel right now. Please trust me on this one; I do not ask people to trust me often. Do things that make you healthy. Do them even though you do not want to do them. All of the powers of the universe line up to support this. No, you never feel the same again, but you will feel better and you will go on to improve the world, but only if you stop destroying yourself.
Sooner, hopefully. I can remember sitting in my bedroom, never wanting to come out -- with guests in the living room wondering what was wrong with me... You will get better. At some point you need to start trying. Maybe give yourself anonther few days or a week, then get up and get going.
Try five years. That's my longest to date. There are always other important things afoot. If we allow ourselves to dwell in our grief too long, we miss out on other responsibilities. It's okay to feel like you have been hit by a truck, but not okay to stay down -- because you have work to do.
You sound dehydrated, and/or possibly have some food poisoning. Try and see if you can hold down some water, but you should probably go get yourself checked out.