I am a Christian and I do not get people like that...not sure how they can call themselves good Christians and then treat others badly. Unfortunately I agree with you when you say you cannot ask him to choose you or his family it has to be something he has to do on his own. But I will tell you if you are looking for a future with this guy and you cannot see it happening or being very difficult because of his family then as hard as it may be now just get out when its just you. If you do not see them changing it will only get harder if you guys end up getting married and having kids...because then it will go from you to what religion your kids are going to be
While having their acceptness is important and makes things easier, it is not theirs you need. The only thing that matters is how you feel about eachother. If they love him at all then his happiness is what is important, and if you make him happy they should keep their own opinions to themselves. Unfortunately, he may have to eventually choose between you and them , if he is serious and wants to maintain a relationship. You should speak to him and ask if talking to them will help and explain how you feel about their treatment. Let him know that you do not want to come between him and his family. And if you two agree to speak to them, then let them know you have no intention on coming between them, but that you are also not going to change who you are to please them. He likes you for who you are, and has accepted you that way, and if they can't accept it you are sorry. After all you are trying to accept their treatment of you. And you have done nothing wrong, other than not conform. Why would they want their son with someone, who changes their values and ideas, at the slightest bit of pressure, and has no spine. And furthermore, if you two do work out and have children, what kind of mother would you make to a child, if you had to teach them that if people don't accept you for who you are, then change to make others happy. Not a very good role model huh?
Been there and done that. My husbands family in the beginning loved me. But I made a few mistakes before our marriage and then they began to hate me. He chose me and that was that. But over the years, they saw that I had changed and not think more of me than him. Go figure. He will feel a sense of resentment at some point but if you two are meant to be, then so be it. I chose my husband over my family and have sometimes felt resentful. But if you are with a person who reminds you , in a good way when you around them, by their actions, that you chose correctly. Then the hell with everyone else. So if he does choose you, make sure that you do something everyday that reminds him why he did. And work on trying to gain their acceptness, and to try to keep him in touch with them. If you really love him. it will be worth it. I know because I am reminded everytime I look at our child.
Wow..that's not a Christian. Don't sweat it..just talk to him and let him know how you feel.
Do all the things the Bible teaches Christians to do... like not judging people... turning the other cheek etc... then when you just can't handle it anymore break up with him in front of his family and tell them they should take another look at Matthew 5:11.
Then don't ~.~