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If you can, describe the situation, how you tried to fixed things, and how long it took to repair the damage.
Agonystick Agonystick 22-25, M 4 Answers Dec 13, 2012 in Struggles

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Screw that! I alienated them for a fugging reason! Because they were a bunch of selfish ******* who honestly didn't give a crapola whether I lived or died. They can choke on the ashes from the burnt bridges. <br />
<br />
*shaka*

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I understand that feeling too. However, I know that I have my faults that were also ruining the relationships. Maybe you also made some mistakes that contributed to their indiscretions. But maybe they were the only ones at fault. All I know is that I don't think I can reasonably have a fulfilling life without settling these conflicts. If you know you're in the right, and can live without them, then good on you. But I think if you've alienated everyone in your life, you're probably somewhat at fault, or people will at least perceive you to be of ill character. I don't know how I could make new friends having all of this on my conscience. They would ask about my family and friends, and I would only be able to give them a vague answer, which would make them not trust me.

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Anybody asks about my people, I give a straight up answer and have yet to be told I was wrong. And before you question, I'm quite fair in my side of the story, I've never had a problem owning up to my shortcomings. It's others not owning up to theirs that drive me away. *shaka*

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Well if you've determined that you are not at fault, and have been mistreated, then it's your right to leave behind those who have mistreated you. I just hope that it won't affect your future relationships. If it does, then maybe you will need to resolve your past.

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I went thru a very rough time after my son got brain damage and I alienated everyone- I tried to appologize but nothing was ever the same- they all shun me now, you can't go back to the way things were even if people say it's ok and they understand they still hold it against you. : (

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What made you want to alienate everyone? Did you not have anyone you felt you could trust, and if not, why not?

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I did to a few. Pretty much I just faded away from everyone for about almost 3ish years. I tried once or twice in those years to talk but I just didn't want to. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Anyways I didn't care to fix the damage I had done with any of them, since they were "great" friends/family but they used to be good friends/family of mine. I was just different from them is all. Maybe once in a blue moon we will talk. Sad to say I know. So far those years were the darkest of days for me. It's funny how you can fall of the face of the earth and no one really cares where you went. Doesn't even search for you. Lol yet your "cared" about or so they say. I still have mixed feelings about that period of life.

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What do you mean by "great" friends/family? Anyways, I don't think it's that they didn't care for you, but they had to accept that they couldn't do anything for you. I recently did the same thing, just left without telling anyone. They contacted me but I ignored them all. I'm guessing somebody has searched for me, but has opted to let me figure things out instead of confronting me. If you suddenly leave everyone without a trace, they think that they are unwanted, and will be hesitant to contact you, or search for you. Still, I'm sure you had your reasons for doing what you did, and I hope you figured them out and discussed it with the people you alienated. That's what I'm thinking of doing now. I know that I wronged all those people by abandoning them, but I feel I had some good reasons not to trust any of them. But I don't think I can move on with my life without making ammends. So I think I will do my best to resolve our conflicts once I get back up on my feet. It will probably be a long process, but I think it's the only way.

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I do all the time, now they just say forget about it.

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What do you have to apologize for?

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Not thinking about them as much as they think about me. It not true, I have just live far away from them. Talking is not always my thing.

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Well just make an effort. The effort will count for something I'm sure. Maybe over time they will begin to trust you enough to have full conversations with you, and you'll feel more comfortable talking to them. Skype is a great way to communicate, and you could maybe even play games with them through Skype or the internet. If you still feel uncomfortable doing those things, then try writing a letter, and maybe sending some pictures or something. Just the effort will surely have a positive effect. And if they don't respond right away, just keep trying to communicate with them until they start to trust you. My dad lived far from me my whole life, and I rarely got any communication from him. Maybe once or twice a year he would call. And during my teen years he didn't communicate with me at all. I really resent him for that, especially because he still thinks that he did nothing wrong. I had many troubles at home with my mother, and he did not even bother to know how I was doing while all that was happening.

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I think, I did not make myself clear to you, My loved ones are great and they like me just the way I am. That took some time. Am older than fifty. I can stile learn a trick or two. I know now that I am in the hearts of some and on the mind of others. I wish I knew more but what would life. As it is, if not for learning to forgive myself for juging what I do not understand. Have fun, best wishes

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