Have been married for 31 years and over that period have had many times when husband hurt me help?

I feel most of our problems are my fault. I am peri menopausal and although having seen doctor there is nothing to be done to help right now. I have repeatedly apologised for those few days a month when i become upset and tearful. I have explained its all hormonal and that i need and want his love not to be shouted at and physically hurt. We do not argue. I sit and cry for hours and then drink a bottle of wine. he watches tv and then comes in shouts and hurts me. Do not want to leave my family home as i have worked hard all my life and its in my name. I am led to believe that he is entittled to half of everything we own. He has contributed little i have mostly. I am feeling very sad right now can anyone help.

Posted 3 months ago

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Oh poppet that sounds horrible.
What a guy...
It isn't your fault hormones can crack most of us up. What's wrong with him, heck it's not rocket science to love someone a bit extra when there chemicals go nutty every month. We women didn't ask for this to happen to us and it is really hard going to deal with it sometimes.

I pray he comes back as a woman and no one is there for him.

Am here for you.......I get the crying thing for hours.

I am going through a divorce. My ex husband and new wife are living in my house that is in my name and I am paying the mortgage and my rent on my rented place until it goes to court.

It is right he is entitled to half but it will be up to a judge to decide if it went to court. Can you buy him out and klick him out!!

You deserve to be loved, respected and supported as does every person.

You don't deserve to be hurt emotionally or physically that is very wrong in my book.

Posted 3 months ago

Other 9 Answers to Have been married for 31 years and over that period have had many times when husband hurt me help?

TheRealWoman	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 5:35AM Basically, you deserve respect. If after 31 years, your husband chooses to berate you rather than comfort you...he does not deserve you as a wife. Go and seek your joy. Good luck. Rated: +2Vote for this!
Shellfinder	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 12:13PM IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO PHYSICALLY HARM ANYONE. YOU KNOW THE MINUTE HE RAISES HIS HAND TO YOU, YOU CAN CALL 911 AND HAVE HIM REMOVED NOW. TWO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS, YOU ARE ASKING FOR ESCALATION...NOT GOOD. GO TO A SHELTER AND OUT OF HARMS WAY. DIVORCE HIM. WORK OUT THE PROBLEMS LATER...GET OUT. OR HAVE HIM PUT OUT. Rated: +2Vote for this!
Comprehensive2	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 4:14AM No one here can help you. YOU need top help yourself and the fact that you've lived like this for 31 years says that you accept your life as it is. And you're right that is sad. As far as property that is what divorce court is for. YOU decide what's more important. Being free of your burden of an abusive husband or having a house that won't enrich your life in the least. It's best to go to court to resolve that issue and stop living the life that you are. Step away and be free. If you stay now it['s because you WANT to and not because you HAVE to. Rated: +1Vote for this!
redflame	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 5:36AM have a look at your marriage contract, the way in which you were married, maybe there is a clause there that you've forgotten about that says he isnt entitled to half of what is yours..... Your house, cars, money are just material things, yes you've worked so hard to have it, but you cannot take it with you at the end of the day... You are miserable in this situation. Get out while you can. You are stronger than you think! Good Luck ! Rated: +1Vote for this!
AIUI	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 5:39AM Well here you are with menopause and you find your self acting irrationally. Crying and drinking bottles of wine. Not good. Any chance your husbands behaviour could also be put down to a medical condition? People can act irrationally for a range of reasons, and medical reasons can be treated sometimes. I agree that you should get out of harms way - protect your self first. But if you have any love left for your husband then see if you can help him fix his problem too. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Eladek	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 5:52AM Be strong and leave. My mother was in the same position after 30 years. Yes it feels almost impossible because it is your home and your family is like a part of you but you have only two options. Leave and feel very lost and afriad for a short time but happy in the long term or stay and feel secure in the short term but incredibly sad and depressed in the long term. Life is short and precious to us - try to salvage what you have left of it. Try to get some support from other family members or friends to give you strength and then leave. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Puffaluffagous	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 7:54AM Next time he hurts you: 1.) Mix his favorite beverage with plenty of Tylenol PM or something similar to put him to sleep. 2.) Once he is out, have your fun and beat his ***. 3.) When he wakes up (sore) the next day, smile and say "Even?" 4.) Ask him, " Shall we continue this game?" ~or~ Leave Rated: +1Vote for this!
NiceNMyWorld	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 8:29AM You do know that he can go to jaill for hurting you, right? Well, if he's in jail, he's not bothering YOU. I would just keep calling the police on him. EVERY time. Maybe he will get tired of it and go away, but if NOT: you will have documentation to take to court to prove why in this particular instance he is NOT entitled to any property.Judges have a lot of leeway. I believe you need legal advice, and often there are advocacy groups that will help you get it. Call your local battered women's line: you don't have to leave right now, or ever, but they can give you advice. I am considering the same things myself, except that the abuse is emotional and financial, not physical. In short, someone CAN and WILL help you, its just a matter of finding them! Blessings! Rated: +1Vote for this!
bnow	Posted Aug 6th, 2009 at 1:57PM You need to look past your hormonal problems and talk to him like a human bein not like a monster. Be gentle with him he probably wants love too. If that doesn't work and he's still an ******* ......leave him. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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