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I asked mine and he just said I think too much and he wouldn t be with me if he wasn t.
21again45 21again45 31-35 8 Answers Apr 16 in Dating & Relationships

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So, even after being a guy for many, many moons, I can't speak for all, or even most guys. I can, however, speak for myself and several I know or have known. If the relationship is good, it would seem like the person (you, in this case) was thinking too much. Relax and enjoy! On the other hand, if it's not going good, then he is practicing avoidance and needs to deal with it.

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I don t think it is going to well I suppose. That is why I asked.

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Well, if you think he knows things aren't good, then he is doing the avoidance thing and he really should talk to you. Unfortunately, some guys aren't good at that and you may have to force the issue by telling him exactly how you feel - tell him everything you are feeling. Use "I" statements, and not "you" statements. That way he will be less likely to get mad. Hope it goes well for you. Keeping a relationship good is hard.

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somethings just aren t meant to be. I suppose it is partly my fault, I ve patient waiting for things to change, I should have tried sooner. but now I m too tired or broken feeling maybe to try fix things. I haven t the energy to confront if he doesn t meet me half way. I suppose I can t face him getting mad.

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You sound tired - been there, done that. I've learned it is hard work keeping a relationship going, and you are totally right, some things are just not meant to be. Don't blame yourself though, it takes two to make something work... it is every bit as much his fault as it is yours. If you feel you can't talk to him because you would have to deal with anger, then maybe it's time to make a decision and move on. Sorry to hear it, but you would be better off alone for a bit then sad and in a relationship - that is the worst!

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Hey thanks, i guess I am really learning that now. I do feel sad, sad and lonely. It s not good.

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Seems to me that he is not being very nice to excuse your inquiry. He should be kind, and answer you politely. Maybe you need time away from him and maybe he needs to start asking you if YOU like being with him?<br />
Try leaving him alone. If he stays away then he is not worthy of your time. If he truly likes you, then he will make sure he has your time.

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Nautch dancers

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Is there specific reasons why you feel compelled to ask this question? Does he seem unhappy? Is he aloof and distant? Is he feeling trapped? If there aren't any, then he's right, you think too much.

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yes he is aloof and distant. I don t know if he is feeling trapped, but we do not live together and he is free to leave the relationship at any time.

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Also I suppose I feel a bit taken for granted, I didn t always, makes me think that maybe I am not the one for him, when he doesn t seem to make an effort anymore.

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I assume you feel that the relationship has deteriorated somewhat, which has prompted you to ask this question. It could all be a matter of perspective. You feel that his current behavior is a sign that the relationship is stagnant. He could simply feel that you both are in a comfortable part of your relationship.

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he doesn t like kissing me, he doesn t remember our first kiss. we don t really go out any more, he has ignored my birthday, he doesn t want to go on holiday with me, he just makes no effort anymore. maybe that is just who he is. I make the effort to make him special meals, he doesn t reciprocate, he didn t even bother with a valetines day card this year, it was just me cooking for him and making a fuss of him. I guess it is a selection of things that have built up. He recently told me he doesn t really like kissing, it was kind of the final straw that made me think, he really doesn t like this relationship anymore.

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I sense that this is his true self. Perhaps he acted differently at the beginning of your relationship. Perhaps you saw him differently. Either way, I do not believe that he had a change of heart. This is truly who he is.
You have a decision to make. 1. Stay and adapt to a man who truly does not enjoy participating in a relationship. He will never be able to give you the attention and desire that you crave. Or, 2. Go find someone else who can give this to you. This time, make sure you understand who the man is before you getting involved in a long-term relationship with him. Too many people get involved in relationships without understanding the other person's personalities and inadequacies.

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that s the thing, I ve never craved attention before, I m fairly low maintance or so I thought, I like my space. but this is different. Maybe it is just him. He can turn on and off his attention and desire in a way I have not experienced before. I suppose the not liking to kiss, made me realise he just doesn t like being close.

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Maybe you've changed. Previously, you sort of wanted your own space. Now that you are getting older, you naturally crave more commitment types of behaviors. Perhaps he has always felt this way.

On the other hand, not liking kissing is sort of strange. Who doesn't like to kiss. It's a form of intimacy. Without it, you may as well be friends.

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He is right.

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