Have you ever been abuse by a lover? what do u do? how do u cope?

yes, for 5 yrs I never went a month with a black eye, or some kind of deep purple bruise somewhere on my body. I was only able to get away from him after the final beating landed me in IC for a week and he was put in the brigg, I promised myself to never allow a man to put his hands on me agian, he came close to killing me. but I have learned since, men can abuse you without raising a hand or even his voice.

Yep. My first "real" relationship was with a guy that abused me physically and emotionally. My life revolved around him, and his emotions.
It was hell.
and I dont think i woulda gotten out of it if it hadnt been for Matt (who was pretty much my only friend at the time) and his insistence that something WAS wrong and he was gonna help. Well...it was actually way more complicated than that.
But I couldnt have done it myself, i wasnt strong enough and i didnt have the will. He had me beleiving that if i left him, i wouldnt ever find anyone else. That i was too weak and ugly. That i had no one else in the world but him. And i was horrified of what would happen if i did try to leave him.
Getting out was a long painful process in itself.
Its been years now, and ive definitely come a looong way since then. But im still scared of running into him one day. But now, ive resolved to never get into that situation again. Im a much stronger person now and I have an amazing support team of friends.

Why do you want to cope?

What do you deserve?

How will you exit this abuse?

Yes, I've been there. Get the hell out of that situation ASAP. It will only get worse. Worry about coping after you've left and you're safe. There are many groups that can help--an online group is violenceunsilenced.com.

In battered women counseling I learned that only one of every one hundred batterers will ever change. Your chances of him changing are slim. He will only escalate until you are in serious danger. GET OUT NOW while you have the chance. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

emotionally, yep. I coped up by being strong to stand by myself and 4 myself again. And try to love myself again---bec only tehn can i start being whole once more.