I get it. I think maybe it's annoying to be reminded that you have cancer, even inadvertently reminded.

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Yeah, I certainly didn't want to hurt anyone. It is too bad that I hadn't said something more pleasant to this girl.

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That's what's called a back handed compliment.<br />
You were actually criticising her foolish disregard for her health,<br />
and she was smart enough to recognise it for what it was.<br />
She was already annoyed at herself, but still tanning compulsively,<br />
so you also hit a raw nerve.

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I did not think of it like that. I just wanted to be creative in attracting her interest. And obviously, I would have never dreamed that she was ill.

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How about telling her you're sorry for making such a gaff, and really what you'd like best is just to have a coffee and a chat and get to know her a bit... and maybe offer to buy the coffee as a way of making amends.

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Thanks. I'll try that if I see her again (I hope I will).

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With respect, you overstepped a boundary because you did not only "compliment" her, you continued with a judgment as to how she should look year-round. You went further and offered unsolicited advice as to how she should care for her skin which is none of your business. I know you had your heart in the right place but the reason it is best to keep boundaries with young ladies you barely know is the very consequence you suffered. You do not have this young lady’s implied permission to give unwarranted judgments or unsolicited advice because you do not know her well enough; you stumbled upon a very delicate and personal matter and you embarrassed her.

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While I would not go that far (though I do feel really bad for her), but I certainly see what you are saying.

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Youre a good guy

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Thank you, I hope so.

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