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teeter23 teeter23 22-25, F 7 Answers Nov 1, 2013 in Affairs

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Teeter,<br />
I have never had an affiar. I have been the one that four women had an affair with. This was never anything that I set out to do. These women all started out as friends and as a friend I tried to be there for them. They all were at points in there life where they needed help and support. Each one was different, one was unhappy being with her partner and felt trapped, one had had a baby recently and felt that her partner found her unattractive, each one had a different reason. Each one was a wonderful person that I admired greatly. Each time the affair wound up hurting them tremendously, no matter how miserable they were in their relationship. <br />
I do not know the reasons for your affair. I do not know anything about your relationship and how that contributed to your situation. From what you have posted about this it seems you feel tremendous guilt. That is normal. I hope that your partner forgives you and loves you enough to realize the tremendous guilt that you feel. It is terrible that you have to deal with living in a small town. I can tell you this. You cannot meekly sit back and let everyone look down at you. You have to speak to these people and look them in the eye when you do. You need to become part of the community in a positive way. If you sit back and let people look down on you, it will never stop. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours happens to have been made public. Every one of us has things that it would humiliate us to be made public. Be strong, keep you chin up and reach out if you need to talk. Message me if you like. Keep your chin up

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I have had two. <br />
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I divorced after the first one and I married my affair partner after he divorced his wife. We were married 23 years and had 3 kids. <br />
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I then had another affair and once again divorced.<br />
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I am currently still with my affair partner and we plan to be together. So.. I feel happy.

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Yes I have. It's a bit like learning to ride a bike, the more you do it the better you get at it. After my first affair I was consumed with guilt for quite some time. It was actually a one night encounter but there was the fear of pregnancy , fear of my husband finding out, and just a lot of fear. I think the hardest part was coming to accept who I was. There was the person I wanted to be and the person I was.

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I personally have not, but some people I do know have. A quite a few of them felt guilty afterwards. It was a little different for each one considering there were different factors which lead to the affair.

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