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My friend of many years really messed-up in a big way. I never thought he would do anything like he did. He didn't kill or hurt anyone physically, but caused enough mayhem for a couple of felony charges. Now he really has no one except his brother and me. His folks don't acknowledge him any longer. So what can I expect visiting someone in jail? I can imagine it's about depressing as hell. What can you bring them? I figure he would like to see someone from the outside that still acknowledges he's still a human being, and that people actually do care. I just don't know.
thx1138a thx1138a 26-30, M 9 Answers Apr 12, 2012

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Believe me whatever you have to do if you truly love and care for this person be there no matter how uncomfortable it is when you are in jail or prison it is like dying ppl forget you exist it is lonely a letter makes your world you grasp at any thing that resembles the life you had before you screwed up and people you thought truly would always be there aren't. I had so many friends lifetime friends from grade school friends I was always there for with money a place to stay a car to drive a babysitter a tutor a loyal ear a confident and there was only one person who wrote me the entire 4 years I was down besides my family. It probably is depressing for you but the happiness you will bring the prisoner cannot be measured. I wrote a poem about this I will post it on one of my poetry groups on here. cards and letters are the greatest visits are the bomb a little money on your books to buy shampoo even better

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It can be depressing as a visitor because you feel like a prisoner yourself.I have Been in prison in the uk.Also visited friends.Just go and show your friend that he still has support and someone who cares.If you visit and write it will give him hope of the outside world.Its a totally different world inside a prison.Most prisoners support each other inside.Some people make mistakes and end up locked up.Society make thier own monsters.You can never judge a book by its cover.Support him and give him some hope.Phil

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Thanks so much. He's been my friend since we were little kids. I can't just leave him there. I'm going to do what I can to help him. I can't bail him out, I can't even come close to the 10% bond down payment. I just don't have that kind of money. If I did, I'd spring him.
Me and his brother are working with what little we have. I guess just try and make his stay as comfortable as possible.

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Thats all you can do.He will appreciate you being there for him.The little you are allowed to do makes alot of difference.You are a true friend to him and you supporting him will only make that bond stronger.Good luck my friend and take care.Phil

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well ..second guess that.. ive bonded somone out and almost ended up in jail myself because he never showed up for court.. you dont want that to happen. youll be the one responsible.

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right on doom. you said it

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Is there no way to ask what he would like? I would ask for posters and cushions to brighten up my cell :)<br />
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I would go with an open mind. From what I see on TV some prisons look horrible but others not bad at all.

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Ask for a poster of a celebrity then dig out behind it.

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LOl . yes, I think maybe I had that in mind!

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The visit will be hell , no nice way around it. Write to him regularly , it will be of much more comfort.

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he just needs to see faces from the free world.. i had a few people in my life locked up including myself.. just try if you can to offer to send photos or anything of life outside of prison. it sucks. he just wants a piece of reality. your treated like an animal there so any kindness goes a long way and when you do something like visiting a person in jail or writing any kind of letter it really does them some good and gives them peace of mind. try to keep it up but lets hope things can change for him when he gets out.

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I had to visit someone once, but she wasn't in there very long. It was for a DUI. I would just stay calm, from what she says, being in Jail is really stressful. So the last thing you want to do is stress them out more. I hear some inmates can't actually/barely eat for the first week. Also, don't do the whole "You shouldn't have done it." They know what they're in there for. I don't know. Good luck.

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It's according to the facility what you can take him, but usually they allow things like cigarettes and magazines.<br />
The main thing is to go visit him and talk to him like he's a person, not a number. Being a good friend can do more good than any gift.

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He's going to be there a while until they sentence him. Then it's going to be prison for a few years. I would never treat my old friend like a number. Maybe I can put a little money toward his "comissary card"? It's something I read about, and you can buy better food. I think he's in the medical ward since he's got a few serious health problems. No one is telling me or his brother anything right now. Everyone just wrote him off.

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I didn't mean you'd treat him like a number. But others will. So your friendship will mean a lot.

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Every bit of information helps right now, and I am going to try and contact his public defender if he could use a character witness.
Thanks for what you have contributed.

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yes man put some money on his books if you can afford it.

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bring cigarettes and porrn magazines

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He's in a cigarette-free jail. I'm not sure if that means only cigs aren't allowed. I'd bring him some dipping snuff if they allowed it.

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