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singwme singwme 56-60, F 9 Answers Nov 7, 2012 in Community

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my guy has been watching me doing it for the past 10 months...

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Yes, my ex husband who had everything and now has nothing due to his alcohol addiction. He's now in court ordered re-hab and I have my fingers crossed for him. It's been very hard to watch, especially for our sons.

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I am watching my bf (also alcoholic) acting out behaviors that will surely either get him killed or imprisoned and I want to beat the sense into him.

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It's soooo sad ;(

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I feel totally helpless--we've talked about this and he made promises and he's back to his old behavior. I am scared to death.

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Me too..I fear that day my sons get a call to identify his body. He's been jumped in bars, robbed, homeless and hit by a car. I tell them to try and remember who he used to be before all this.

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He starts screaming--'IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!' or 'YOU'RE NOT MY F**KING MOTHER!!!' I can't take it anymore.

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Wow...that's hard to take yet hard to walk away as well.

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We've been together for 9 years and the bad things have started overcoming the good ones. I just try to hang on to hope that things will get better, but in my heart, I know they won't. I just don't understand why he's willing to risk everything he has with me to play a foolish game.

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The "why" is always the biggest question. Have you tried going to al-anon. I never did but I wish I had and have heard good things about it.

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When I was a teenager, my mom went, and I didn't like her experience--she met a very bitter woman and lots of bad things happened because of it. Left a bad taste.

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Understandable but your experience might differ and couldn't hurt...right?

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Truthfully-even though the alcohol is a problem--his hiding things and lying is the deal breaker. I lived with my dad being drunk all the time, and though it hurt, and I watched him die from it, he was always a good man. What he''s doing has more to do with sociopathic behavior than drinking.

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Yikes...I couldn't deal with that.

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9 More Responses

I had to love my ex thru excessive Tylenol consumption (broke his back twice, but docs would not offer pain meds.) Over the course of 7 years, he took 250+ caplets a WEEK of extra strength Tylenol to tolerate his back pain. After the first 5 years, the Tylenol wasn't enough anymore & docs still would not prescribe pain meds - he started drinking alcohol. <br />
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My ex had 5 herniated discs & 2 fractured vertebrae in his lower spine. <br />
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I fought with the doctors & told every doctor the excessive amount of Tylenol my ex was having to take to function on a daily basis. I TRIED to tell my ex that he was destroying his liver.... None of it did any good. <br />
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My ex also suffered stage 5 clinical depression with constant suicidal threats. <br />
Now my ex is 36, suffering the end stages of liver disease. Tylenol is the primary cause, and the alcohol didn't help. He is currently waiting for a liver transplant. <br />
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NOW my ex WANTS to live... <br />
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Go figure.

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So sad--I wish you both luck.

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I'm doing great.... I pray for him every day though. Even though he broke my heart, I believe he deserves a better chance for having a good life (still without me.) Maybe once he gets his liver transplant, he will appreciate being alive and well.... and the opportunity to be the best father he can be to our kids.

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I will be one of them

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I watched my stepdad smoke and smoke and refuse to give it up...until lung cancer killed him a few years ago. <br />
I've had people that I care for go down a self destructive path, but for the most part, I don't watch. Usually there comes a time when I have done all that I can and either they or I step back. It is generally too frustrating for me to watch that sort of thing when I can't get through to someone.

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Yes, I watched my father drown himself to death in alcohol after my mother left him.

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Daily...but it is her life to lead and no one can force her to change. She needs to want to change. That is the only problem with the AA 12 step program.

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