Try and discover any secret fetish he may be having
What kind of household did he grow up in? I'll bet sex and the human body in his house was taboo and shameful. I agree counseling might help. But have you actually asked him why he feels the way he does? Gently remind him that having a period, farting, sweat, sagging, yeast infections, etc is part of the human experience - nothing wrong or shaming about it. The art of communication is everything..
Sounds like he has abandonment issues for sure. Keep pushing for answers - see what happens. Don't believe that everything you see on a **** flick is considered hot and a turn on. Too many men get that confused for sure. He may be a traditionalist when it comes to sex.
So you are saying he doesn't want sex at all? WOW - what does he say about it or will he talk. He could have some health issues if it doesn't work or maybe it hurts. Talk about it. If he is frigid maybe you are right pursuing a divorce. A sexless marriage would be hard.