but I knew what happened
Yes, when I was young (up to about age 14) I did so frequently. I never knew so many others have experienced it though . . . interesting
Well in my personal life I have observed others who claim to have "lost it" but were completely conscious and calculated of what they were doing.
I would lose it and strike someone without even realizing I had done so. I shoved a teacher against a door once and just remember everyone give me strange looks and moving out of my way. I didn't know until later in the day what had happened. I had no memory of it and still don't.
It wasn't pain so much as confusion and scary once I was convinced what happened. Frankly had good friends not witnessed it I would never have believed it. I think the teacher knew that it wasn't a conscious decision and advocated that I not be punished. Someone else reported it and he was questioned about it after which I was called to the principles office.
I had a lot of anger when I was young. I never have any anger pent up now, truly. I process things differently and accept reality as it is and then decide on how best to deal with it rather than becoming angry over circumstances.
I don't know that I would go that far. I think it requires first off wanting to change and then you will find a means to do so. I was fortunate in that I found a new martial arts school with a very strict Korean instructor who seemed to take a special interest in me. It was like the father I was lacking in that he kept me in check and always wanted to know what was going on in my life, in school, at home, in my free time, etc..
yes i did.. but i don't regret because what i did was what i felt to do that time... it was my decision however... no regrets..
a couple of times. i don't remember what i did.
Yes, several times, actually. It's called "mental illness." The meds keep it all pretty well in check now.