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StudentofUnifying
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Have you ever married someone, only to find that they became a completely different person?

On the other hand, have some of you married a person that remained virtually the same? Why do you think marriage seems to change some people so drastically? Is age a factor? Did each of you have a strong sense of who you were before marriage?
Posted 10 months ago
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nuevo
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I don't know if people become completely different people after marriage. Seems to me if that kind of thing happens, it's more a case of them not being themselves fully before marriage, then gradually letting more and more of their true selves show. Of course values and ideas and feelings change over time with most people, I know I have become a better version of myself since I got married b/c I have always acknowledged my faults and worked hard to overcome my issues. Marriage can help hold up a mirror to your face. In people unwilling to be honest with themselves and look into the mirror their spouse holds up for them, marriage can be a nightmare. I believe maturity levels and personal responsibility and accountability are more pertinent issues than age differences.
Posted 10 months ago

Other 6 Answers to Have you ever married someone, only to find that they became a completely different person?


Fallflower
Posted Jan 13th, 2009 at 8:05PM
In my case the person I married was hiding his true self (from everyone, including himself) But the truth always comes out in the end, and he was forced to face it. Obviously having a strong sense of yourself is key to any relationship, otherwise the foundation crumbles eventually.
Rated: +3Vote for this!  
notdarcy
Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
A lot of it is about dreams colliding with reality...
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
penguinswon
Posted Jan 13th, 2009 at 8:12PM
Never drink at the wedding. I did that. I went home and realized she was a completely different person. Maybe I went home with a bridesmaid. The dress was a slightly different color, but lacy and puffy.. Then I passed out.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Whendolynn
Posted Jan 13th, 2009 at 8:19PM
Do I get to vote for best answer? I vote for Nuevo. I just learned something about my own marriage from reading her post. She is a wise woman.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
ag123
Posted Jan 13th, 2009 at 8:44PM
If you take the position that the "self" is just a convenient construct of our dualistic mind, then I don't think any self stays the same. In fundamental ways we are always changing. Our molecules are undergoing constant replacement. Cells come and go. Our thoughts come and go. Our memories come and go. If two "people" remain married for any real length of time, they will both undergo much in the way of change.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
MizzBlue72
Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Yeah. My hubby was an alcoholic, but was in therapy and was clean and sober for 10 years. I did not realize that he was also an addict. He started drinking and doing drugs 4 years ago -- that was the start of the end.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
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