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my mom is like this and i feel guilty going no contact with her. her lies often make me look bad. i just don't know what to do. i wish i didn't care but i do care about what is being said about me.
veronica4ever veronica4ever 22-25, F 16 Answers Nov 26, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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My mother is schizophrenic and has constructed a fantasy world to sustain her mentally. Reality seems too confusing for her, and it she has not been able to reconcile the two. I find myself living within the framework of her fantasy when I am with her. We have found somewhat of a middle ground where I do not have to lie to her often. It is what it is. She has been stable now and not gone off her medication since 2007.

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You CANNOT deal with pathological liars. I want to pull their stupid ears off....pop pop! They need extensive counseling that wouldn't work because they would be lying to them too.

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the best way to deal with this is to change yourself around her. if she were not related to you i would say run away but this is mom. once you realize you cannot change her but you can change how you deal with her and accept the situation and her for who she is serenity will come.

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thnx for the advice. i'll work on it. right now i hate her but still can't leave her. it's weird i know:/

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Yes. End the relationship/divorce.

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i wish i could divorce my mommie dearest lol

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Ahhh, I see.
Well, you can always still distance yourself from her. Matter 'o fact, you can still end the relationship if you choose.
You ARE 22-25 yrs old, right?

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yeah i am and yeah i can but i would feel really guilty. maybe i should try it anyways

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If it matters about your own well-being, then yeah you can try it, even if it is a family member.

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i will. thnx:)

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Yes i have...i have known several people like that.....

I dealt with then by catching them in their lies and calling them on it...and watch them stuttering and stammer try to back pedal their way out of it....

It was actually quite funny cause most people wont do that to make them look stupid...if they dont care enough about me and try making me look stupid by lying them i have no problem making them look stupid in front if people

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hahaha that's true. if they are insulting my intelligence why should i consider their ego

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Very true

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Yes. She's a nacissist who honestly believes her own self grandeur BS, and I'm no longer speaking to her.

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what was she to you?

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mother

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ohhhh how do you feel? do you ever feel guilty?

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my mom is a narc too

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Not really. I might if she'd at least own up to what she's done, but she won't. The physical scars she gave me in childhood have faded away at last, but those memories won't fade as easily.

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i want to do that too. i want this woman out of my life forver but i am afraid. she is so good at manipulating others into believing she is the victim i am afraid of being judge by others for not speaking to my mother.

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I've long since stopped caring about that as well. I've realized that if they haven't gone through it they won't understand, and it's not on me to make them. They can either accept the situation for what it is, or I don't need them in my life :-)

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i love you

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I hope that helps somewhat, hun :-)

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it did:) thank you xoxo

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Yes I have. My evil, horrible step-dad. What a looney. I hate him. I don't speak to him and I never want to again. My mom is dead, so he is nothing to me anyway.

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oh gosh I worked with someone like that, he didn't stay very long but he had other personality issues

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Yes, a good liar has to believe in their own lies. If they say it, it's the truth kinda thing. Just let them get on with it, no chance of changing them.

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Yes, uncover the truth.

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One of my childhood friends was a compulsive liar. I am not friends with her anymore. She has lied a out her being molested, raped, in gangs, her mother almost dying, and a lot more.

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ugh i had a friend like that too who lied about the same things that you mentioned. ugh i just can't stand people like this. why do they do it? is it for pity aka attention? smdh

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She was so tiring to car for. She now has two kids that have been taken away. She been in and out of prison and rehabs. I was the "bad" one when we were young because I was the goth kid and she was the pretty popular blonde girl. She crave attention so much as didn't care how she got it. I am just glad that I'm not like her. I pity people like that.

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you know i've always thought that girls who are pretty when young become addicted to attention and never get over this addiction as adults. i use to wish i could have been a pretty girl when i was little but now that i have seen how all my pretty friends are now as adults (desperate for attention and compliments) i am happy i was a ugly kid and am perfectly fine blending in;) lol

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Me too.

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I kicked him out of my home and found a new room mate as living with him was impossible and yeah.

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I don't. That's one way to stay away from drama.

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