All I ever really wanted is someone special to love and be loved by and share a long, happy life together. I have a beautiful daughter I love more than anything and am so thankful for her. But I still want that special love for myself. <br />
Careers, money, materialistic stuff...it's nice but it's all just 'filler' for what really matters. The people I get to share my life with is what really matters most to me. I find it heartbreaking how often we push them aside for those other things.
What I really wanted was a FAMILY. A close knit loving family. It never happened. My son and I are close, but I wanted the husband to be included, too. My only hope now is that I'll get to be included in family as a grandma when the time is right for him and his wife-to-be.
I really don't know. I've started over a lot of times. I just hit bottom again recently. I wanted to be an audio engineer, but in the process of getting those skills and learning the trade I lost confidence and started questioning myself again. Now I'm thinking about working on an offshore rig, because **** it. Why not? Better than any plan I've tried to follow so far.