He cheated on me, lied, used me, broke my heart, left me but came back...can I ever trust him again? should I even try?
check out my many stories if u want more details of this ...it is my husband ...he is here now ...but I am contemplating leaving ..looking at apartments and contemplating taking the kids and leaving ...I love him but don't trust him at all...and I don't think I ever will again...although he seems to be telling me the truth and making himself available to me...the hurt has been done ..the past cannot be erased....and although I have forgiven him..at least I choose to forgive him every day...I still have not and never will forget ...and I no longer want to live my life this way....
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28 Answers to "He cheated on me, lied, used me, broke my heart, left me but came back...can I ever trust him again? should I even try?"
Posted by londoncrazy2 Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
if you need to ask you should know your answer
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Posted by SpilledSecrets Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
no. leave him in the dust and teach him he can't burn his bridges and expect a new one to be built when he wants to come back.
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Reply by Azizinum Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
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Reply by thecheatedonISMOVINGON Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:35AM
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Posted by VoluptuousVix3n Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:31AM
D-U-M-P H-I-M
Preferably at the dump ;p
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Posted by Azizinum Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:29AM
never , i think he's lonely and need someone to use again
Like (4)
Posted by kandace16 Jan 22nd, 2013 at 10:28AM
Well many people will say leave him its not worth it although I won't say leave him. You might be hurt right now and think you can't trust him again but time can only tell and how would the kids feel.? They'd be torn apart.. you always have to give the benefit of the doubt.. and if you got a divorce then a few months down the road want him back what are you gonna do, remarry the same guy.? I think you should sit down with him and have a long talk about what he did and what has to change then go from there.. you also have to think about everything y'all have been through together and have done for next another..
But this is just my opinion, yu might think otherwise
Like (3)
Posted by 4Truth Jan 28th, 2013 at 1:24PM
There is no easy answer. If you still love him and he loves you and shows remorse then I would say try but know it is hard and you have to do the work (both of you).
1. Making the Choice
The choices you make in the first year after the affair will determine the amount of healing you both experience. Tell the truth. Have tough conversations. Lead with grace. Begin to build trust. Don’t equate the absence of conflict with the presence of intimacy. Go to counseling consistently for the first year for IC and MC. Fight for your spouse. Pursue Christ more than anything. Trust God to heal your heart.
2. Be Patient
Healing is a process not an event. You will have great days and horrible days. You will be okay one day and take three steps back the next. Give yourself permission to not be okay; but be determined to not stay where you are. You don’t have to take huge strides everyday, but commit to take one step each day. And remember bad days do not erase the good ones.
3. Breath
You can't undo what has been done. But you can learn from it, grow and define what you want and need going forward. Define your boundaries and say I am trying to forgive you but if this ever happens again. We're done. No discussion, no counseling, just done. So it better be damn worth it.
You know first hand that infidelity is devastating. But there is also hope. My hope and prayer is for God’s grace, love and healing. It's a journey and I encourage you to follow your instinct and pray for His guidance.
Good luck.
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Posted by justsomeone2 Jan 22nd, 2013 at 1:19PM
Forgive once. Maybe once more for the kids. Then draw the line. This is really the most personal decision anyone can make and is totally up to you. I really think at least one forgiveness, in the name of love, is worthwhile, because that is a truly beautiful gift. Don't forget to mention that to the unworthy rat.
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Reply by thecheatedonISMOVINGON Jan 22nd, 2013 at 7:05PM
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Posted by 1sabre Jan 22nd, 2013 at 10:34AM
Forgiving is fine, but I think he has ruined any chance you might have had. Time for you to move forward and leave him behind. Good luck to you.
Like (2)
Posted by ShellOfAMan Jan 22nd, 2013 at 10:30AM
I've tried very hard to get back to a place of love with my wife, and in my experience it has not worked.
Sometimes, once trust is broken it never truly heals. Trust is an innocent, naive thing.
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Reply by thecheatedonISMOVINGON Jan 22nd, 2013 at 7:06PM
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Posted by DisorderlyCyn Jan 22nd, 2013 at 10:29AM
You do whatever benefits your children and then yourself and THEN your husband. Cheaters are more likely to cheat twice. That's the truth of the matter. If you can handle the possibility of being cheated on, if you think your children won't suffer from seeing your lack of faith in their father, if you think establishing your family as one complete entity and start working on your relationship from there, all of you working together MAY save your marriage.
Like (2)
Posted by MisterMister83 Jan 22nd, 2013 at 10:04AM
he sounds perfect.... that is exactly how a man is supposed to behave & treat a woman thats what they enjoy right???... course you should take him back without even thinking about it.....
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Posted by submissivelittlewoman Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:33AM
no...no...no! don't let him back into your life.
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Posted by Serenitree Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:32AM
No. And No.
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Posted by DominanceMaster Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:31AM
In these cases I always ask myself- What was the motive?
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Posted by PinksWoman Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:31AM
You know you can't trust him, why would you want him back? He will only hurt you again
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Posted by Indie42 Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
No. He's not worth your time.
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Posted by LucilleLucilleLucille Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
No.Life is too short to waste on smarmy cads like that.
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Posted by Kletti Jan 22nd, 2013 at 9:30AM
You should kick im out of your life for good - and that faster than a bookie's runner!
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Posted by mle684 Feb 3rd, 2013 at 2:54PM
It seems to me that you know what you want but you're afraid to do it. Trust is key in a relationship and you don't feel like you can do it even thought you decided to forgive him...than I say go. You have to think of you and take care of you so that you can take care of you're kids.
All the best to you.
Like (1)
Reply by thecheatedonISMOVINGON Feb 4th, 2013 at 8:08AM
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Posted by Azure33 Jan 26th, 2013 at 1:07AM
no! wake the **** up!
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Reply by thecheatedonISMOVINGON Jan 26th, 2013 at 7:22AM
Like (1)
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