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I moved out 5 months ago on my own. At the age of 24, I finally decided to be independent which i think is not bad since I am getting old and the fact that I can support myself. Moving out, taught me the importance of my relationship with my mom hence I started opening up to her. I used to not tell her any of my life story or not even open up to her and be affectionate. Now that I am, she doesn't seem to care. She tells me she sent me to college, but I am still not successful. I understand I can be more successful, but she doesn't see that I am happy with the job and with my earnings, which she even tells me I earn more than her. I got engaged for Christmas and of all the people I thought she would be happy for me, but I don't see that from her. She tells me my fiance should be able to support me financially and she still wonders that he might be just taking advantage of me. She doesn't see that my fiance is a very family oriented, Godly, and a hard-working man. My fiance has tau
anonymousrain anonymousrain 22-25, F 12 Answers Jan 3, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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mother is mother. avoid emotions. maintain it. never break, tough to make..

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Love your mom but love yourself more.

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She is still worried about you... She wants the best for you... She thinks you deserve the best... May be you can understand her point of view when you will have a baby:). Hey congratulations... You are engaged:)

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Your mum sounds like she has very different priorities to you- its safe to say she is just worried you deserve better. <br />
Let your amazing fiancé prove her wrong!

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sounds to me like your ma has problems. if you are happy with you job you are verry lucky ! i switched jobs to make more $$ big mistake wish i never did. and to late. you are able to suport your self that is great! She doesn t like you boy friend. well that is normal. lot mothers (and fathers) all ways think childs lover not good enough. thats why lot mother in law jokes. my mother in law hated me for lot years. i took her only daught away. she now lives in inlaw with us and loves me. but lot years did nothen but cut me up!! off course in return i threw in my digs ! but all worked out in end. so try not take her to serious she only wants best for you. sounds like you doing great! good luck with your mom

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Thank you! By the way my father is very supportive. It softens my heart when he told me and my fiance 'From the buttom of my heart I am very happy for you two, getting engaged.' I just don't see my mom supporting me emotionaly and it breaks my heart.

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lol. having same problem here. 24 with a career in physical therapist. independent and with perfect fiance. my parents run the travel agency for guilt trip at every corner. sorry about the lol but until i read ur post, i was feeling like i'm the only one with this problem with parents. :P hang in there girl. we will be fine. i'm still looking for the way to handle my mom so i will update u more when i find out the perfect solution.

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The world has moved on and your mother's perspective has not. It's difficult for the older crowd to get their heads around it all.<br />
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Your mother and father grew up in a world where people expected to have one career - possibly even one job - their entire lives. In that world it was possible for many people to support a family on a single salary. You've entered a much more unstable world economy, and a job market dominated by transience, where the best strategy for the ambitious is to move on after two years if promotion is not in the cards.<br />
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It's also a market for chameleons, and most of us will re-create ourselves almost from scratch several times over the course of our careers. Employers aren't loyal, no matter how they dress it up, and we've all got to live by our wits to a certain degree and keep looking out for ourselves.<br />
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A woman who expects a man to support her financially also agrees to accept a subordinate position, allowing the man to dominate her, make all the big decisions, and wield his financial control as a weapon to enforce his will. At best, it's like he's the CEO of the family and she's his trusted personal assistant and adviser, at worst it's like he's purchased a housekeeping slave and bed-warmer.<br />
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Which is fine if that's what you're into and works well for some, (and is kind of hot to fantasize about :P) but also means that in many cases, the woman becomes an infantile version of herself, incapable of thinking rationally about the big picture. In a lot of ways, a woman in that kind of a relationship never grows up simply because she's never had to. <br />
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Sounds like that's your mom. A grown woman with her own wisdom in many respects, but also a child when it comes to her expectations about relationships and the world at large.<br />
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Roll your eyes and cut her some slack, but also tell her in no uncertain terms that this is the way it's going to be and she'd better suck it up and deal if she wants to stay connected.

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Seems you outstayed your welcome....

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I am sorry if i get offensive at any point........<br />
Mother is gift Gad gave all of us but most of us dont realize that untill they are gone and we become a parent ourselves.<br />
if there was no religion in this world, who would be your God??????<br />
you are her body part and she just cares for you.dont argue with her, say yes on everything she tells you and when you are alone, do what you like.<br />
earn heaven by being good to her. i love every women who is a MOM.......Mwaaaaah

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all good things comes in right times, give time to every one

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