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trinigirl77 trinigirl77 31-35, F 17 Answers Jan 16, 2011

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Could be many reasons. He is not in love with you; he could be stressed; he could be in a lot of trouble and doesnt want to worry you; he could be hiding something- could be cheating on you; he could have a terrible disease and is afraid to go to the doctor. He could have prostate problems and Erectile Dysfunction; he is gay. I suggest you confront him; in any case your marriage may be already over. (Have you see the movie For Coloured Girls)?<br />
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I am wondering whether you ever have anything interesting to talk to him about rather than mundane houskeeping stuff and about the kids behavior. You might need to work on your communication skills and take some refresher lessons on romance - sex will follow. When a guy comes home he has enough office stress on his mind. He probably needs a little pampering and romancing. He may be bored with you or your manner of speaking, or behavior. If all you talk is about the kids behavior, your miserable day, laundry, cooking, cleaning, other complaints or TV he wont be interested or only partly so. You might have to start to date him (like the Obamas do). Get someone to watch the kids and go out on a date to put a spark back in the relationship - what got you two together in the first place? Recall how it used to be before the kids came along.

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If he was gay it wouldn't be so bad, anyways, we have 2 kids, I am pretty much his slave, he doesn't appreciate anything I do at home, with the kids, for him. All I do is care about him and try very hard to live life as an actual family would? hmm, guess I am trying to hard! Also because he alone works(that is getting paid) he makes all the decisions (I really mean all, sadly). I work, the only difference is I do not get paid and my work is absolutely 24/7.

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If he works, bathes, and leaves you alone, I don't see the problem with that.

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You wouldn't of course, but you can try living with someone like that and know what it would feel like, maybe it won't be a problem for you, then, would it?

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Hi I m 35 yrs I m very possive about my husband but he always ignore me wht to do

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Hi<br />
Are you still having this problem? I am too. Its been so many years. Im so lonely. So dead inside. But i rely on him even though i work often longer hours. He makes more money. We have 3 kids. Lately he even started ignoring my text messages so now i have no communication at all. I just want to have a normal life. Im a happy funloving person but am becoming horrible and impatient. <br />
What have you done to sort this out? Its been about 15 years now like this and im tired. <br />
Xxx

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Im sorry to hear about that. I have the same problem. My husband works second and third shift to afford a nice home for us and all I want is him. Id gladly live in an apartment but he wants this house and all his junk out in the driveway. Today I have decided to stop pining for him. I am very depressed and have spend loads of money to feel better. We are not rich but I dont want for anything. We have a sexless marriage because I do not feel any emotional connection to him. He is always either getting ready to leave for work or getting home to go to sleep as I start my day, I just couldnt bear the sex any longer as it left me angry and empty and resentful and sad and lonelier. I feel better without trying to make it work I just dont know what to do from here. Im in counseling. I cant leave as I do love him, we just are more of room mates and friends than a couple. Weekends he sleeps an awful lot he is so exhausted he may be depressed. Hde would never go to counseling. This year I am gonna try and get my health and self together. My sons are still home but youngest is 15 and planning for college soon. They dont need me for anything but food but Im teaching youngest to cook now. My husband says if he works less we have no money to do anything and when he works like this we have no time to do anything. He would rather have the money. I think he is a bit screwed up the way he thinks. So here I am. Contemplateing just walking out once son starts college but I will do it gradually. Get my own place and spend week days there or weekends. See what happens. I am not working right now because of bad depression and I have Chronic Lyme disease but that will improve. I am in treatment for both. Wish I could be of more help but you have two choices. Stay and accept what it is and go for counseling to helpo you deal with it or leave. You cant change people. If leaveing doesnt change the way my husband sees our relationship then I will file for divorce. Im not interested in dateing again. I think I am sour on men now though.

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I would trade with you in a second if I could. Subtract the work and bathe and add endless nagging and you have my husband.

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will he agree to therapy?<br />
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you may need to reevaluate this relationship, do you want this for your life or do you need to consider moving on?

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try to chat with him, smts i think men love talking to women more than sex

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your loney and i hate that for you... we all need love and help from are mate... hope it gets better...

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isn't that why we get maried, in hopes that we become one, we can have someone to talk too? My husband loves his sisters and brothers more than he loves me, again, all I am doing is loving this man.

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Ask him wtf? Try to work things out?? consider divorce or getting a lover :)

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Hard getting a lover with 2 kids, besides I believe in marriage, just sadly my husband has proven otherwise!

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If you want more out of life, and if you would like a partner that appreciates you, I suggest you seek a divorce lawyer.

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Ouch, the only thing that keeps me from reaching that "D" word is the kids. God I would hate to see them go through the differences on each side, my husband has proven himself only to be a good provider, that is "ALL".

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Welcome to wedded bliss.

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Ouch! I strongly believe many have good marriages, it does take two to make it work though!

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Maybe try ignoring him also. This will work the best if you also seem really happy, humming and singing. Go do some things with your friends, and act surprised if he notices you were not at home. :)

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Can you live with someone and ignore them, that is so much easier said than done! For reality that is!

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I may be flamed... but I'll give a male view point. Now this won't work with all guys and it may be too late. As it sounds by many of the female responses below there's not much anyone can do once there gets to be too much animosity, bad history, or (self)ish entitlement built up in a relationship. These things happen when one or more partners develop a preoccupation with themselves... their roles, thoughts, actions or their partners but only in relation to themselves. Ideally if we all acted only with our partners interests in mind none of these problems would occur. Not to push the source but it's right... "Wife's obey your husbands, husbands love your wife." This is not sexist or any such. The part for wife's are just for them and should never have anything to do with the man and vica versa. It just describes an ideal symbiosis. ie. If a woman is feels loved by a man she's apt to want to do what she can to please him. likewise if a man has a wife who only builds him up and supports him in a caring way he's going to want to show his thankfulness and love for her. But this only works when there is no deceit in it. The motives will be self evident over time each must perform their part not to get the reward or return of the spouses action (as then the motives are selfish and you'll never carry through) But it should be done only for yourself, a desire to be the best wife or husband regardless of what your spouse does. Otherwise you don't have a right to complain no matter how bad your partner treats you, well your no better. examine your thoughts are they positive for your partner ie are they relationship thoughts. When you think about it how many times do you say "We/our/us" in your head versus individual pronouns like "he/She/I/You/Me"? The points is it's a miserable one-sided relationship if all your worried about is what "I" get. It turns it from a joyous union of two people sharing their selves into a sort of job. "What do I have to put into it to get what I want out of it" and because we are all selfish we blame any lack on our spouse in that scenario. That and things will only get worse... and eventually break down into a blame game for why things are not perfect. and guess what? because none of us ARE perfect then nothing else will be... the best there can be is contentment and acceptable happiness (over-all) and this only comes if we are joined together set to overcome all obstacles and not worried who does more than who ect. BTW don't let movies or books fool you, we don't live in fantasy no matter how much we want to. Now ya'll can go back to your gossipy, pity party and complaining about your husbands after all your probably doing it to their face daily as well... and they in turn feel like your against them so are having their own complaining sessions about you at the bar or fishing with buddies or sleeping with mistresses ect.. BTW before the truth ****** you off too much all this is equally true for men as well. So just love each other already. remember what love is? it's giving of yourself. love is long-suffering, self sacrificing, never self serving, giving and endures all things.

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