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in march, i'm going to cali for spring break with my boyfriend and 3 of his friends. his friends are 2 boys and one girl. i am 19 years old so technically i am old enough to make my own decisions, but i live with my parents and they probably would never let me go on a trip with my boyfriend, at least they havent let me in the past. recently, we were ganna go up to the snow and at first, my parents werent going to let me. even though it was just for a day and we were NOT staying the night anywhere. but my dad eventually just said okay so i went. i really want to go to cali and i decided they CANT make me stay. they already have the room all planned out and if i dont go, they are going to have to pay way more than panned. i need to tell my parents im going. i just dont know how and when to bring it up and how the best way to approach it is. and i just want to tell my mom. then she can go tell whoever like she always does lol. (my parents are divorced) i need advice!
sweetsydchris sweetsydchris 18-21, F 5 Answers Feb 20, 2013 in Parenting & Family

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My advice is that since you are 19 and supposed to be an adult, then you should act like one and maybe they will respect you as one. Instead of asking their permission and assuming they will take it negatively. Why not take the approach of you being excited about going and you are basically just sharing the information with them. "Mom! We're planning this awesome trip. etc...." I know you are young, but you don't always have to act like you are. You're 19 now, you area allowed to make your decisions. If your mom says something like, "What?! You're not going to California!" You should say something to the affect of, "Mom, I'm 19, this is going to be a great trip. I'm going with some of my closest friends who I know and respect very much." Basically, handle the situation like an adult, and don't cry if they react negatively. You have to be confident and stand up for yourself.<br />
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Now... if you're known for being a screw-up. Don't expect any support from your parents.<br />
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Peace! :)

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hmm, that is great advice and i think i might use it!
i just dont know how to fake excitement. well i mean im not faking it, cause i am excited, but idk how to be excited and tell her when im planning it out :p
and the thing is when they act negativly and i cry about it, normally that helps to soften them up :p but maybe that approach for not crying would work, idk its something different lol.
but thanks :)

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True. I understand. But, now that you are older, you have to start doing things to build your parents' respect as an adult. I bet one reason they don't feel good about letting you do big things like this is because they don't have confidence that you can handle yourself. Parents are always going to be overprotective of their children. Honestly, just show some confidence and that you are a responsible woman and you might get your way. :) Good luck!

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thank you :)

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Any time! :)

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How did it go? :)

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good! :) i told my mom and she was like oh really with who? and i told her and she was all well thats cool, your sister is going to be jealous. (although my sister is going too but after me lol) and i was all i know this is something you dont really want me to do but its something i really want to do. and she never said no or got mad so it all went good! :) thankyou for your great advice!

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3 More Responses

Dude I had the same problem last year (at 17 not 19).I was told I couldn't go to Padre Island with my college friends (which is logical). I'm not sure how you should ask but don't lie. Your still under their roof and they could always cut you off. Plus **** happens and you end up with $400 missing from your bank account and having to wonder what happend after waking up somewhere on a beach in Mexico after being roofied. Spring Break is no joke.

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should discuss with your parent before pay for the room...leave them a note and just go is bad..you are not goin to enjoy your holiday, and when you get home..a world war 3 ignited !n

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leave them a note and just go

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i've thought about that, but i feel like that would make them angry lol

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yeah but they would get over it in time, i always wanted to go to spring break but never got to do it " sad face violin music"

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haha good point :p

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